The National Weather Service is spewing out prophecies about the blizzard, with mentions of "paralyzing snow," "near zero visibility" and the need for a "winter survival kit." Perhaps it's because the end of the world is nigh, just as the the Mayans predicted. According to legend, this Friday, Dec. 21 is the end of the world as we know it.
Luckily, local bars and other hangouts are making the most of this dire situation with a spate of opportunities for end-of-days debauchery. Here are ten events sure to make doomsday as fun as possible.
Pre-apocalypse festivities: Thursday, Dec. 20
Aldo Leopold Nature Center, Monona, 8 pm
Revelers can enjoy apocalypse-themed films and act out last-day-on-earth scenarios in front of a green screen at this event, which also features live music by the People Brothers Band, contests galore and copious amounts of Ambergeddon beer. Interactive exhibits will be on hand to show attendees how to ensure a sustainable future if the course of the future should miraculously change. Zombie costumes and "apocalypse survivor chic" fashions are encouraged, and proceeds get donated to the nature center.
Frequency, 9 pm
Hewn's seven musicians will set the stage for global mayhem with a thunderous set of percussive, blues-infused gypsy-rock. Guests wearing Christmas attire will get an admission discount -- and tearful looks from those who fear they'll never sit on Santa's lap again. Union Suits, Shoot Down the Moon and Animals in Human Attire will also perform.
During-doomsday celebrations: Friday, Dec. 21
Rigby, 8 pm
Music and videos will explore ominous themes as a tarot-card reader tries to glimpse a less menacing future. Just in case the Mayans were wrong, proceeds will benefit the Multiple Sclerosis Society.
Barrymore Theatre, 8 pm
See how many of the seven deadly sins disco divas VO5 and sonorous sexpots Freddy Griffith & the Sex Circus can work into their acts at this celebration of lust. The dress code is "apocalypse sexy," a perfect excuse to use up Halloween leftovers like fake blood and mangled angel wings.
Majestic Theatre, 9 pm
What do muttonchops have to do with the apocalypse? Find out at this party, and enjoy video highlights on TheDailyPage.com the day after. Steez and the Mustache will show just how funky the apocalypse can be.
Segredo, 9 pm
You may think there's an earthquake when DJ Teknicolor rattles the floorboards with his bass-heavy jams, which have opened shows for Dillon Francis and Ana Sia.
Inferno, 9 pm
The Inferno will brace for end times with rock 'n' rollers, burlesque dancers and other objects of worship. Bands on the bill include 4 Aspirin Morning, Tiny Riots, Kill Junior and Tiger Clutch.
Frequency, 9 pm
Venice Gas House Trolley will wrap up the Frequency's end-of-the-world events with some poetry-laced jams. Metabaque, Fibonacci, Tonal Caravan and Soundless will perform as well.
Mr. Robert's 10 pm
See if you can get Sky Road Fly, Benevolent Elephant or the Vipers to play Europe's "The Final Countdown" at this apocalypse-themed show.
Post-cataclysm rejoicing: Saturday, Dec. 22
Inferno, 9 pm
The end-of-the-world madness continues with this ode to sensory overload featuring lasers, glowsticks and go-go dancers, plus rave-tastic music from DJs Stomper, Manny Fresh, Elektik, BlessTheAM and MSP.