Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is another pink-bubblegum movie from Disney. It stars Lindsay Lohan, who was part of the reason Freaky Friday turned out so well. But this time parents are an afterthought; peers are where it's at. Lohan's Mary has just moved from New York City to suburban New Jersey, and because she has a flair for the dramatic she tells everybody her name's Lola. She also makes a different fashion statement each time she leaves the house, which gets her singled out as a freako before she's even met anyone. And that's just fine with Lola; she lives to be singled out.
Fair enough, but the movie, which is directed by Sara Sugarman, seems a little confused about the whole idea of being singled out. Before she can even say "Hi, I'm the new girl," Lola has become the latest target of Carla (Megan Fox), who rules over this high school with an iron fist and designer nails. Carla, we're made to understand, is bad, but is she really any different from Lola, who wants everybody to notice her, no matter what? Not in my mind, although the movie seems to think so. She does seem nicer, I suppose, but she also seems self-centered.
Hence, confessions of a teenage drama queen. Speaking of drama, perhaps the least plausible thing about this tribute to nonconformity is the notion that all the cool kids are dying to get into drama club. When Lola lands the role of Eliza in the musical version of Pygmalion -- no, not My Fair Lady but a Mickey Mouse production called Eliza Rocks -- Carla declares war. Luckily, Carol Kane shows up as the drama teacher, her hair permed into tight little curls, her voice a breath of fresh helium. Now, that's weird. But Lola? She's practically the girl next door. Only in a Disney film is it hip to be square.