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Sunday, September 21, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 58.0° F  Mostly Cloudy
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Michael Feldman's 58 reasons to have sex

Credit:Mark Kaufman

In July, The New York Times reported that two psychologists at the University of Texas, having asked nearly 2,000 people why they had sex, had assembled a list of 237 reasons. I could only come up with 58.

1. It's the only thing that works for these migraines.
2. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
3. It was against my better judgment, but I've been wrong before.
4. We had an extra hour due to Daylight Savings Time.
5. It's the only exercise I get.
6. Did me a world of good.
7. A win-win.
8. We were both adults.
9. That we kept meeting in the dog park was more than sheer coincidence.
10. She had never had my kind before, although I had.
11. The New York Times said I should.
12. We were both trying to forget someone - in fact, it may have been the same person.
13. If I didn't, somebody else would.
14. Abstinence doesn't work.
15. A myth needed debunking.
16. She was mad at her sister.
17. There weren't any dryers free.
18. I'm a giver.
19. The culmination of much effort and no little expense.
20. I'm not sure we did.
21. The biopsy came back negative.
22. In high school she wouldn't even look at me.
23. A ringer for Joey Heatherton.
24. Peer pressure, yes, especially when they wouldn't leave the room.
25. Beats text.
26. I won't dance.
27. She had the cool, clear eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth.
28. It was 11:11.
29. Had to wait for the glue to set.
30. Said she was tired of the lesbian scene.
31. The polls hadn't yet closed in California.
32. Had a coupon.
33. She was locked out.
34. The 300-mile rule.
35. Can't play tennis anymore because of my shoulder.
36. Forgot my reading glasses.
37. Too much 'Animal Planet.'
38. She'd been on her feet all day.
39. Couldn't see any reason not to.
40. Drugs were a factor, but they were prescription.
41. It was a way of getting even.
42. Pity is not entirely a bad thing.
43. Think of all the times it should happen, and it doesn't.
44. What happens in Oskaloosa stays in Oskaloosa.
45. It was Guy Fawkes Day.
46. I wanted to feel what she was feeling.
47. I was on the rebound and she was on the ricochet.
48. I've been under a lot of pressure at work.
49. Because I didn't want to go gently into that good night.
50. The fact that my parents wouldn't have approved didn't hurt.
51. Depends what you mean by 'having.'
52. It's an eight hour-flight.
53. Got that little sleeper nook in the tractor-trailer.
54. Why, do you need a reason?
55. Still had 30 minutes on the meter.
56. So as not to appear rude.
57. Everybody else had left.
58. Did I mention the headache?


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