Dear Tell All: I'm nerdy and proud of it. I love computer games, role-playing games and everything Star Wars, except Deep Space Nine, which I thought was dumb because they were stuck on the space station. Anyway, I was psyched about going to school at Madison because I thought there would be tons of other gamers. But I haven't met anyone like me, especially girls. The ones in my dorm are always studying or partying. How can I find a girlfriend when I can't even meet any fellow geeks?
Seeking Princess Leia
Dear Seeking: Now that you've acknowledged that you're a complete dork, welcome to the club! Climb up to the tree house and help yourself to some Mountain Dew. As someone who learned taxidermy through a comic-book correspondence course (I ordered the X-Ray Specs too), I can relate. I had my nerd card laminated long ago.
If you're secure in your dorkiness, then you should hold your Pez dispenser high. It makes perfect sense for you to look for someone who shares your interests: someone who will appreciate your prized Darth Vader action figure with telescoping light saber as much as you do.
Have you tried any of the clubs on campus, like the Madison Board Gamers? They play every Wednesday at Memorial Union, and I'm not talking snore-fests like Scrabble (there's a separate club for that). These guys are serious gamers and play over 100 different titles a year, including my personal favorite: War and Sheep. Players battle for the best grass while sending wolves to attack members of the other flock. If sheep don't warm your tighty-whities, there's also a chess club, an anime club, and even the Badger Cheese Club. Okay, that's not just for nerds, but it's so wonderfully Wisconsin. Makes me wonder why there isn't a Badger Brat Club.
You should also check out Geek2Geek, a personals website for the...socially challenged. Their profiles are so complete that you can even specify your favorite videogame controller. I like the site's Top 10 Reasons Why Geeks Make the Best Catch. Topping the list: Geeks don't cheat, because their social skills aren't developed enough to support an affair - which doesn't explain how David Letterman got lucky.
There's also Sweet on Geeks and Trekpassions.com, a dating site for science fiction lovers. If nothing else, it's fun just peering at the profiles. There's Rockawaybeach, who gets giddy about bus routes and their timing. Then there's K-rizzle: "If you can tear up when Spock dies that's a turn on for me." Finally, there's SBartl9049: "I'm 29 and I still live with my parents." Enough said.
Just one more thing: When you find your princess, use protection, and not just for your pocket.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? email firstname.lastname@example.org.