Dear Tell All: Scandal-ridden U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner is being pilloried for sending messages to various women via social media. But what's so bad about that? As far as we know, Weiner didn't touch any women besides his wife; he merely flirted with them in modern ways. And married men have always flirted.
In the absence of physical contact, Weiner didn't even violate the Bible's commandment against adultery, right?
Dear Kool: Weiner isn't being pilloried just for his flirtatiousness, but for his stupidity (even Bill Clinton wouldn't have posted a crotch shot on Twitter) and for his lying.
In any case, I don't forgive the flirtatiousness as easily as you do, Kool. No, Weiner didn't technically break a biblical law, but he did indulge in sleazy behavior that Moses never dreamed possible.
In the digital age, the adultery commandment requires a subsection.
Dear Tell All: I just saw a breathtaking tweet from a local Republican Party operative named Blake Gober: "a #libtard just told @VickiMcKenna that it wasn't the #wiunion's fault that they ruined the Special Olympics Event." Who would use a variant of the offensive word "retard" in the context of talking about the Special Olympics? Is this guy right in the head?
Dear Follower: I'm not a psychologist, so I can't comment on his mental state. But I am an advice columnist, so I can offer him this suggestion: Shut down your Twitter account, Mr. Gober, for our good and your own.
Dear Tell All: The letter writer who complained about The Onion not being funny anymore ("Gag Me," 6/10/11) neglected to mention how bad the publication's arts section - the A.V. Club - has become. It used to be a fresh, lively alternative to mainstream arts sections, but now it seems like just another tired formula.
Another long interview with some pop culture figure who's allowed to do extensive P.R. for himself? Yawn. Another pointless, random article like the recent one about parental nightmares depicted in various movies?
Bring back the old Onion!
- Former Fan