By now, just about everyone in Madison should know about the Mad Rollin' Dolls roller derby league.
And with the 2008 home season -- the Dolls' fourth since starting out in 2004 -- quickly approaching, I thought it appropriate to do something a little different, something for die-hard fanatics and neophytes alike. So, starting today and before each home bout this season, I'll introduce you to one of the four teams that make up the Mad Rollin' Dolls. Without further ado, meet everyone's favorite undead underdogs, the Unholy Rollers.
For a team that once harbored a bit of "bad girl" status, these bloodthirsty ladies in red haven't had much luck with wins in the past few seasons. But under the new leadership of third-year jammer WildBerry Punch, the unholy ones are looking to brush off the cobwebs, climb out of their coffins, and show the league what the dark side of derby can do.
The Unholies are laden with seasoned veterans (names like Jewels of Denile, Back Doris and Maverick should ring a bell); and second-year stars like Mauly Tov, Mack the Knife and Kill Billie -- who spent the summer training together, some at the national level -- are looking pretty hard to beat.
Another of last year's rookies -- who took to the rink against Texas and Denver for the Dairyland Dolls -- Tammy Faye Undertakker (or TFU, to those in the know), has a lot to say about the upcoming season.
"We learned and improved a lot over the summer because we had to push ourselves to play with the best skaters in the league and against some of the best teams in the nation," she declares. Here is the Rollers' roster for this season:
Back Doris #1134
Cha Ching #33
Dee Toure #I-94
Elle Machete #900
Goldie Mean #1.618
Jewels of DeNile #99 (Co-Captain)
JonBenet Slamsey #118K
Kill Billie #111 (Co-Captain)
Mack the Knife #15
Mauly Tov #131 MJ
Mel Ignant #89
Pandora S Blocks #IV
Rita Slayworth #9
Shrimp Trampi #1221
Tammy Faye Undertakker #700
Tango de Muerte #22
WildBerry Punch #27 (Captain)
TFU explained that with only four new recruits this year (as compared to eight of their 14-deep roster last year), they have been able to spend less time teaching basics and more time focusing on strategy and advanced play.
"We're ready to shake up the league this season," she says. "I think a lot of the team dynamics are changing. Skaters on other teams have told us they can't believe how good our team looks, and we hope the crowd think so as well. We're ready for the Unholy Reign of Terror to begin!"
You can see the Unholy Rollers take on last year's second-place superheroes, the Quad Squad, this Saturday, Jan. 26, at Fast Forward Skate Center, 4649 Verona Rd., Madison. Doors open at 6:30, action starts at 7. Tickets are $10 in advance, and can be purchased online and at Freedom/Knuckleheads, Capitol City Tattoo, Cha Cha Beauty Parlor, the High Noon Saloon, Lakeside Press and Fast Forward Skate Center.
Melissa Faliveno skates as Harlot Bronte with the Mad Rollin' Dolls and works as an editor and freelance writer in her spare time.