SPORTS

It was the end of an era on Saturday night, as the Mad Rollin’ Dolls roller derby league bade 2008 -- and four years of play at Fast Forward Skate Center -- a fond farewell.

Glittering tinsel adorned the walls and Bing Crosby crooned through crackling speakers as the Dolls faced off for their third annual Holiday Bout -- or “Ho Bout,” for the uninitiated. Players from all four home squads set their colors and grudges aside and joined forces as Team Candy and Team Coal for the yearly bacchanalia of hard hits, fast skates, the ever-popular homemade craft and bake sale, and, of course, a colorful assortment of bad holiday puns.

An all-MRD flute and harp choir kicked off the evening with an angelic rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” -- an experience not unlike a cross between midnight mass and a Cheap Trick concert. And while the bout was certainly hard-fought, Team Candy emerged heartily victorious, proving that it really does pay to be sweet.

Of course, anyone who’s been around the derby scene for the last few years knows that this sort of jocular merriment -- while certainly a good time -- is a far cry from what flat-track roller derby has become. And while you’ll certainly still find some elements of playfulness during the regular season, things have gotten pretty serious at the national level.

For any lingering naysayers out there, it’s no question that women’s flat-track roller derby has made the move from campy spectacle to surefire sport. Those who caught the regional tournament “Derby in Dairyland” hosted here in Madison last October experienced the proverbial proof in the pudding, as skaters (along with fans, staff, and various dedicated hangers-on) from twelve leagues across the eastern half of the country flocked to the Veterans Memorial Coliseum for three days of non-stop, high-stakes derby. They fought for national rankings and a trip to the national championship tournament in Portland, Oregon -- and they fought hard.

Alas, there still exists a population of doubters. Nationally, a debate about the authenticity of roller derby rages on. The most recent dispute was fueled by the The Oregonian, a Portland-based newspaper that refused to cover the national WFTDA tournament held in its home town in November. Apparently, its sports editors didn’t consider roller derby a sport. Not surprisingly, the nationwide response to the dismissal -- notably in a missive by a skater with the Rockford Rage -- was fervent, to say the least.

The Dairyland Dolls, Madison’s inter-league all-stars, know just how real the sport of roller derby has become. The DDs had a busy summer of travel -- facing teams like Texas, Virginia, Philadelphia, Chicago, Baltimore, and Seattle, to name a few -- and have seen firsthand the strides that the sport has taken. The Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) is bigger than ever, hosting over sixty nationally sanctioned leagues. (There are hundreds of others across the country who have not yet been WFTDA-sanctioned, but are on their way.) Teams like Chicago’s Windy City All-Stars and New York’s Gotham City Rollergirls, who faced off at the national championship, seem unstoppable. Other powerhouses like Texas, Seattle, Philly, and Carolina remain high in the rankings and only continue to improve.

While the big cities take over at the top, however, our favorite Midwest milkmaids are still holding their own: the DDs are ranked sixth in the East and thirteenth nationally. And with a new WFTDA restructuring project on the horizon that will break the two current regions into four, 2009 promises to be an exciting year for national play.

And speaking of national play, can I get a magical neigh? In case you haven’t heard, the Mad Rollin’ Dolls introduced a new inter-league team in 2008, one that’s more brightly-colored than a Grateful Dead tour bus on acid. Team Unicorn, another melding of players from all four home teams, was formed to give skaters the opportunity to travel and play teams from other cities at a developmental level without the pressures of ranking. Team Unicorn traveled to Canada over the summer (marking the first international game in MRD history), Indiana in the fall, and finally a couple of weeks ago to North Carolina, where they skated a magical double-header alongside the DDs. And man, did they sparkle.

Needless to say, it was a busy and successful year for the Mad Rollin’ Dolls.

After a short winter break filled with ice, ibuprofen, and no doubt a few jugs of celebratory eggnog, the dolls return to the rink and gear up for their season opener in just over three weeks on Saturday, January 10.

And in case you missed the memo, the league announced that the 2009 home season will be held entirely at the Alliant Energy Center. That’s right: no more sold-out bouts, no more trekking across the Beltline in the snow -- just a great new downtown venue, further proof that women’s flat track roller derby is the best thing since sliced fruitcake.

Melissa Faliveno skates as Harlot Bronte with the Mad Rollin' Dolls and works as an editor and freelance writer in her spare time.