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Thursday, October 30, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 43.0° F  Overcast
The Daily
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Citizen Dave: The Week in Review... death, taxes, Castro, and quiet Republicans
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They say there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. Well, now it looks like taxes are even more of a sure thing than death.

It took the Russians, a country that knows something about the dark side, to figure that one out. Turns out Russian officials are going to retry a fellow named Sergei Magnitsky for tax evasion. The funny thing is that Magnitsky evaded life a couple of years ago. He's dead.

But that's not stopping the tax collectors in Moscow. Apparently, Magnitsky will be subpoenaed and forced to come back to life to appear at his trial. And it gets worse. If he loses, he has to stay alive long enough to work to pay back what he owes. Geez. Talk about an "evil empire."

Speaking of communists, this week we're celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Cuban trade embargo launched by John Kennedy in February 1962, but only after he instructed an aide to bring back as many of his favorite Cuban cigars as possible. (The aide delivered 1,200 to the President. I am not making this up.)

The embargo has been a smashing success, don't you think? I mean Castro is on the verge of being driven from power after only five decades of rule, and this will happen just as soon as he dies of natural causes in his own bed. Then, of course, his kid brother Raul will continue to run things for awhile, and then, well, you never know what might be next. But you gotta say that that embargo sure brought those Castros to their knees.

In the Please-Anybody-But-Mitt! Republican reality show, Rick Santorum just won't get off the gosh darn island. This week, Santorum won not one, not two, but three primaries. Newt Gingrich didn't win any, and blamed the "elite media" for all three of his losses, not the fact that he wasn't even on the ballot in Missouri. I guess it was the "elite media" that didn't get around to doing the work of gathering the signatures to put him on the ballot. Gingrich is having success in one area though as he's close to the Guinness Book of World Records mark for most uses of the term "elite media" in one sound bite.

And Ron Paul just remains nuttier than fruitcake. I love these guys.

Closer to home, it turns out that Assembly Republicans were instructed to shut up about the gerrymandered redistricting plan that was drawn secretly at the Capitol Square law firm Michael Best & Friedrich. People are getting all bent out of shape about this, but they are not looking at this in the right way. What if Assembly Republicans were instructed not to say anything about anything? No more clichés about "tax and spend liberals," no more "job-killing environmental regulations," no more "trickle down economics," no more "guns don't kill people," no more "sanctity of the marriage between one man and one woman."

I know they control everything in Wisconsin and are running out of bad ideas to turn into laws, but it would make it all go down easier if we didn't have to hear them trot out the same old tired language over and over again. I'm for more Republican silence, not less.

And in the world of sports, the New York Giants beat the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, even though they scored one too many touchdowns by accident. Madonna performed at half time, but the only wardrobe malfunction was that there was actually a lot of wardrobe for a Madonna show. And all the commercials had dogs in them.

Aaron Rodgers won the MVP award thanks to a great year on the field and some pretty good acting in those insurance commercials. Brett Favre couldn't act. Did you ever see There's Something About Mary? Humphrey Bogart he wasn't.

In further sporting news, I got this great new Direct TV thing that allows you to record all kinds of stuff. So I get home tonight late after the Badgers-Gophers game has ended, but never mind, because I've recorded it on my Direct TV thing. So, I happily get my beer and chips. I settle in. It's an exciting game with the Badgers going cold late (as they often do) and the game going into overtime.

Then the recording stopped. My Direct TV thing didn't account for overtime. Failed by technology again, I finished my beer, put away my chips and went to bed. Anybody see how the Badgers did last night?

That's all I've got for now. Have a nice weekend, kids.

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