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Saturday, August 23, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 77.0° F  Light Rain Fog/Mist
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Citizen Dave: The Week in Review... Amercia, Amercia, God shed His grace on thee
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Jonathan Lucroy had a rough week.
Jonathan Lucroy had a rough week.

Starting with international news, China announced this week that it has had just about enough of the sassy comments about the government on the Internet. So, the government has developed a point system. Everybody gets 80 points to start with and then you get deductions for every snide comments about garbage pickup or taxes or whatever.

Veterans of the Cultural Revolution had proposed that when you run out of points you should be killed. Fearing an overreaction in the West about that, the penalties have been scaled back to taking away your computer for a month and cutting your TV time in half.

Especially concerning to me is that puns can be punished under this system. That seems to me to be unjest.

Speaking of misspellings, the Mitt Romney campaign had an issues with their iPhone app this week, which featured a screen that read "For a Better Amercia." But it turned out that this was not a mistake.

We can all breath easier now because Romney is not running to be the American President but the Amercian President. I'm not sure, but I believe Amercia is one of those little countries that got created when the Soviet Union split up. Anyway, how much damage can he do there?

Also, it turns out that some of Romney's scariest policies were all a misspelling understanding. For example, he's not against same-sex marriage. He's against same-sox marriage. He believes that people should wear different colored sox on each foot. Strange, sure, but not as weird as being against gay marriage.

Also, he didn't mean to say that Social Security was "a giant Ponzi scheme." He meant to say it was a giant "Penzey scheme." Romney is concerned that far too many seniors are using their retirement income to purchase expensive and powerful spices, resulting in an epidemic of heartburn and indigestion among the Greatest Generation. This is a concern well-placed in my view.

Moving on to the sports pages, Jonathan Lucroy joined the crowd on the Brewers' disabled list. It was the classic case of reaching under a hotel room bed for a sock only to have your wife drop a full suitcase on your hand. When is Major League Baseball going to come to grips with this chronic danger in their sport?

That's all I've got for now. Have a good weekend, kids.

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