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Thursday, March 5, 2015 |  Madison, WI: 15.0° F  Fair
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Citizen Dave: I was robbed at Gomeroke
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Shocking news: I was denied the top prize at last night's Gomeroke contest at the High Noon Saloon.

Named Stand Up and Sing! For Kids!, it was an fundraiser in support of Court Appointed Special Advocates. These are the folks (usually lawyers) who volunteer to advocate for kids who have lost their homes due to domestic abuse, the drug use of their parents, or some other troubling situation. There are few better causes I can think of, and next time you're tempted to pick on lawyers, think about what these attorneys are doing for no pay.

Anyway, back to last night's contest. It was unfair. It was rigged. If there were an International Gomeroke Commission, I'd be filing a complaint. My complaint would center on the mixing of contestants who have talent with those who have none.

Of the eight singers in the contest, five could actually, you know, sing. That was outrageous!

Theola Carter, who works in the state Department of Workforce Development, performed a beautiful rendition of "You've Got a Friend," Bridgit Schwerfel, who sings in stage productions of plays like Les Mis, wowed the audience with a tune, Matt Gerding of the Majestic Theatre performed Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" that sounded better than the Man in Black, and St. Mary's Hospital CEO Dr. Frank Byrne stole the show and took the top prize with "96 Tears." That was especially galling since Frank was last minute stand in for a performer who was scratched.

Even WMTV morning people Tim Elliot and Christine Bellport did a pretty decent job with Joan Jett's 'I Love Rock 'n Roll."

The only performances that were worthy of the mockery that true Gomeroke inspires were my own, Triple M morning guy Jonathan Suttin's "Copacabana," and the firefighters' union president Mahlon Mitchell's "Piano Man." But even Suttin strutted around the stage in a manner reminiscent of a really bad Mick Jagger interpretation, and Mitchell got the crowd to help him with the refrains in his song.

Still, it's good that Suttin doesn't have to sing on the radio and Mitchell is rumored to be a potential challenger to Scott Walker. That's a good thing, as he won't be a potential challenger to Billy Joel.

For myself, I performed a version of my smash hit "Stand By Your Madison." I felt that I should have gotten special recognition as the only singer-songwriter in the bunch.

I have to go now, as I need to take a call. Something about some lawyers for the Patsy Cline Tammy Wynette estate. Wonder what that's about?

Have a good Memorial Day weekend.

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