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Thursday, September 18, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 51.0° F  Fog/Mist
The Daily
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Sin... and the sinfully delicious at Bennett's Smut and Eggs
The New Girl in Town: I've had smut for dessert but never for breakfast.
on
Bras hang from the rafters at Bennett's Smut-N-Eggs.

In days of yore, my best friend Marie and I would rise on Sunday after an evening of festivities to consume the sweet, sweet fruit of Duncan Hines' loins. Sure it was a bit of caloric gluttony, but our concoctions were good for the soul. Those times were truly divine.

Problem was, my social life and diner-frequenting were temporarily on pause while I adjusted to my new abode. Memories of my good times were becoming like passages in a book. Would I be able to find the same spiritual camaraderie and the overwhelming love of tradition in Madison?

What could I do to resurrect my groove? As my Christmas Eve dinners have always proved, cholesterol really brings people together. So, after a night of playing Taboo 'til the wee hours of the morn, it seemed appropriate to acquire sustenance at the infamous Madison eatery, Bennett's Smut-N-Eggs. Along with four wise men, I ventured forth.

The darkened room. The neon lights. The bras and bustier hanging above the bar. The sweaty cook with the peter hat. The pool-side girl-on-girl action. God, this was just what I needed!

Choosing between the Eggs Benne-dick with smut sauce or the smut muffin was hard -- I do equally enjoy sauces and muffins. And my attentions were more focused on our discussion of what we were giving up for Lent. I broke down and got the sandwich while much of the table decided on the biscuits and gravy. The verdict on Lent is still out -- the ambience made it clear that it is best to keep a firm grasp on some things.

Beyond the pools of goobery gravy goodness, the ramekins overflowing with pancake-lubricating butter, the clear, sticky maple syrup, is the best breakfast accessory of all -- le sausage. The vast quantities of elongated encased meat products in Madison have blown my mind, but none compare to the little guys at Smut-N-Eggs. The sausage was so delectable, it would have been greedy for me not to share.

It is a shame Smut-N-Eggs shall be closing its doors in a week. It is full of things that are finger-and-other-body-part-licking good! As I sat l under the amber glow of outdoor, picnic-table lovin', flanked by shady men, it really felt like I was back home. Madison, this time you hit a grand slam. Hallelujah!

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