Kyle Nabilcy: “We’re talking Oreos and beer, people; there are no rules.”
It may be the seasonal availability of Girl Scout cookies that has inspired a number of recent wine, beer, liquor, and cocktail pairing listicles. The cookie season starts and grown-ups just want to celebrate.
I like Girl Scout cookies just fine, I'm no monster. But I celebrate a different set of dates: The release of new Oreo variants.
These weird versions of this American classic have been coming out since the late 2000s, and more frequently since 2012, when Nabisco released Birthday Cake Oreos for the brand's 100th anniversary. The flavors have only gotten stranger since. Since beer is my beat, I thought to pair the two: craft beer and special-flavor Oreos.
I don't recommend dunking, exactly, but try these combinations on for size.
Red Velvet Oreo
A classic pairing is an India Pale Ale with carrot cake. There’s some shared DNA between carrot and red velvet cakes, at least in their cream cheese frostings, so let’s roll with a roasty black IPA to mirror this Oreo’s chocolate cookie wafer. I like Indeed Brewing Company’s Midnight Ryder if you’re making a border run to Minnesota. Surly Blakkr may still be on shelves in Madison, which would also be great, and there’s always Lagunitas NightTime. For those who don’t dig on hops, try a creamy milk stout like Milwaukee Brewing Company’s Polish Moon.
Reese's Peanut Butter Oreo
I love these Oreos, a lot more than the standard peanut butter Oreo. Add a hint of jelly with House of Brews’ Adobe IPA. Its jammy strawberry nose provides sweet fruitiness that makes sense with peanut butter. The rich peanut balances with the tart strawberry-ish sweetness and clears a path for the bitterness of the Amarillo hops.
Brownie Batter Oreo
Sneak preview pairing! I was able to sample this upcoming flavor, which provides unadulterated chocolatey goodness. There are a lot of big, high-ABV beers with the curranty notes of baker’s or dark chocolate, but I’m not going to tell you to raid your cellar for an Oreo pairing. Founders’ deeply raspberried imperial stout Big Lushious is still around, or, closer to home, there’s 3 Sheeps’ Hoedown. This imperial black wheat ale continues the evolution of Baaad Boy by adding lots of cherries and both ancho and chipotle chili peppers. Look for this Oreo variant to land on shelves soon.
S'mores and Marshmallow Crispy Oreos
Good vanilla or marshmallowy beers are usually expensive and rare (Vanilla Rye Bourbon County Stout, the vanilla Dark Lord variant) or extremely popular and not available locally (Off Color Dino’Smores, Pipeworks S’more Money S’more Problems, both out of Chicago), and often both. Try Ballast Point Victory at Sea, which is now available in 12-ounce bottle six-packs. Make sure you don’t drink it too cold, so the vanilla has a chance to really express itself. It’ll round out the vanilla in the cookies’ filling.
Lemon, Chocolate Lemon, Limeade, Key Lime Pie, and Fruit Punch Oreos
Finally, license to pair with tart wild ales. The standard lemon Oreo comes with a golden wafer, and was upgraded from limited flavor to permanent because it’s awesome. This is straight-up Berliner weisse or gose territory. If you’re lucky enough to have a Westbrook Gose out of South Carolina, drink that. If not, try the light acetic pucker and bready notes of New Glarus’ Berliner Weiss.
Chocolate Lemon lines up perfectly with the roasted malt of the very weird Siren/Stillwater collaboration, When the Light Gose Out. It’s neither cheap nor easy to find, though, so maybe go with Furthermore Oscura to mimic an Italian lemon-with-coffee experience.
Lime, meanwhile, has now appeared on a golden wafer where it’s called Limeade, and on a graham wafer, where it’s called Key Lime Pie. The lime flavor in the creme overshadows the flavor of the wafer. MobCraft’s Cervezarita has a great lime flavor on tap, but it flags a bit in the bottle. The lime-filled Oreos should amp it up appropriately.
Or grab a big tropical imperial IPA if there’s no tequila barrel-aged imperial Mexican lager in your neck of the woods. (There’s like three, tops.)
Fruit Punch was a super-limited flavor; I never saw it in Wisconsin. (A buddy in St. Louis hooked me up.) A can of Destihl Flanders Red from the affordable Wild Sour series would be great if this Oreo comes back.
Pumpkin Spice Oreo
Pumpkin beers have a tendency to come off as forced and artificial. That’s what we’re trying to fix with this pairing. Something rich with sweet notes, like Lakefront Beer Line Organic Barleywine or MobCraft Vanilla Wafer porter works. If you want to stick with a pumpkin beer, consider Southern Tier Warlock. With a porter at its base, it’s less sugary than the brewery’s Pumking, but will still reinforce the pumpkin spice elements of the cookie.
Watermelon Oreo
A watermelon beer with Watermelon Oreos seems like a necessity. You could pick up Watermelon Wheat from Wisconsin’s Horny Goat, or 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon (not sold in Wisconsin, but currently in the news for getting mocked by Budweiser), but don’t. Instead, bring crisp, cold, and clear to the party with a kölsch-style beer. I’ve enjoyed Krankshaft from Metropolitan Brewing, recently arrived in Wisconsin distribution channels from Chicago.
Cotton Candy Oreo
Cotton Candy is literally the sweetest Oreo variant you can buy -- the creme tastes like spun sugar, if that’s even possible. It may seem counterintuitive (or just wrong) but pair this with a smoked beer (like pairing it with a hot dog). Brenner Brewing out of Milwaukee has Bacon Bomb, and you can usually find the Bruery’s Smoking Wood around Madison. Or try Karben4’s NightCall. It’s smoky but not too smoky, and it’ll contrast the heck out of this brutally sweet concoction.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Cookies ’n’ Creme Oreos
These flavors don’t taste much different from the basic Oreo. (Cookies ’n’ Creme is a “new” reissue from a couple years back, and while it’s available in some part of the country now, hasn’t been spotted in Madison to date.) Bust out your French press and infuse your favorite stout with a few cookies. Let them soak in the beer for up to three minutes, depress the plunger and let the filter strain out the solids. You'll have beer that tastes like cookies that...taste like cookies.
We’re talking Oreos and beer, people; there are no rules.
Note: Not all of these Oreo flavors are available on shelves as of publication. Woodman's and Target are my favorite wellsprings for weird Oreo availability.
Marshmallow Crispy, Reese's Peanut Butter, Cotton Candy, Lemon, Chocolate Lemon, and Key Lime Pie are all on shelves in Madison. S'mores probably is, too, and Red Velvet might be. Cookies 'n' Creme is available in United States markets right now, but apparently nowhere in Madison.
Oreo does cycle back to various flavors, some seasonally (Watermelon, Pumpkin Spice), others merely occasionally (Marshmallow Crispy, which just reappeared recently.)
