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DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

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DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby blunt » Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:38 pm

Really?
That's the best you could find?
There is no personality, no identity, no character!
And no name.
Nobody wants to write to nobody!
You have committed the worst crime possible: trying to repeat the magic.
The advice columnist market is already bloated.
You had the chance to do something different and you blew it.
And this "column" is so indistinguishable and flaccid it now brings me down to only 4 things I read in Isthmus now that the personals are gone:
Leuders page; forum excerpt, food reviews, and PS Meuller.
Tell All?
Seems absolutely no thought was put into the generic name.
You guys could have had so much fun with this with a strange know-it-all, or
a mystic from outer space, etc.
But it's as bland and boring as hell.
No wait. Hell's much more interesting.
The writing looks suspiciously like certain member(s) of the staff have been penning it in between real assignments to save money.
Attempts at humor which were only visible becase of the strain.
I was not amused.
I did not learn.
Last edited by blunt on Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: DON'T ASK TELL ALL

Postby Mean Scenester » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:24 pm

While I'm not nearly as energized as Blunt about all this, I have to agree. That Tell All thing was pure pap. I'd sooner read the Diversions ads.
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Re: DON'T ASK TELL ALL

Postby Walter » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:40 pm

The Diversions ads are never flaccid.
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby blunt » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:21 pm

Still disappointed.
Plus: shouldn't Tell All be the name for a gossip column?
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby john_titor » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:18 pm

Blunt,

I have been entertained by you in various forms, I think starting back on the cable access show. If I were a rich man, I would patronize you. You make Madison a better place to be.

Is this a bit?

Your fan,

j_t
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby blunt » Tue Mar 10, 2009 12:25 pm

Thanks, jt.....
I seem to always be real popular at the kids' table but ignored by the grownups.
That's ok. More fun at the kt, right, jt?
If you'd like, you can bask in my daily bisquits.
Find me. Friend me.
blunt rapture
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby blunt » Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:17 pm

THE DEER HUNTER?
Oh my. I want to be nice.
I am a positive person.
I am engorged with so much hope I float.
But it took 2 WEEKS for Tell All to come up with this?!
The worst one so far.
The question itself almost put me to asleep.
But your hack's try at funny FAILS.
Not only is each lurching attempt a dog-eared cliche, but how can one go through a couple hundred words--even after typing "pink and swollen" TWICE-- without ONE nasty innuendo to the ripe query:
"Would you like to see my deer stand?'"

I wish the buck would stop here before you tarnish Isthmus rep any further.
This junior high amateur yearbook writing taints and sullies the insightful cutting news that Isthmus excells at.
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby john_titor » Sun Mar 29, 2009 7:01 pm

It is funny the first six times you light the bag and ring the bell.

After that it is just mean.

Love you Sir. (3rd biggest fan)
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby Kenneth Burns » Sun Mar 29, 2009 10:21 pm

Web 2.0 they call it.
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby blunt » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:25 pm

Oop!!!
Look who finally answered!
(I'll pay for your shoes.)
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby blunt » Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:09 pm

Hey.
I'm sure Isthmus is trying their best.
And this poor goddam little Tell All kid, probably an intern or the dishwasher over at the Local, isn't really hurting anybody. Physically.
And I sometimes forget, in my passionate love and burning desire for Isthmonic pefection, my criticisms can be harsh.
It's only because I love so much. Maybe too much.
Hey: it's even possible the person I am trashing weekly for writing the column is the very person I go to bed with each night.
(There has been some odd laghter and the disturbing
discovery of a jar of elk pee.)
So. Who's to say what's good or bad or this or that?
Not me.
So I do.
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby Shipley » Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:03 pm

I'm now really regretting not at least applying for this Q&A column.
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby john_titor » Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:29 pm

YAY BLUNT!
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby blunt » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:19 am

Hmmmm.....how about this:

Spice things up a bit by alternating Tell All with 2 other regular bits to prevent oversaturation:

1) ASK DR. KNOW!
Wherewithin I answer the local questions that taste like burning in my hilarious pungent style, e.g.
>Was there really a bar in Madison where you could get drunk and shoot crossbows?
> What's the difference between the two Terraces?
> What's it like to visit The Rising Sun?
etc

2) LOCAL LEGALISTICARIANISMS
Wherewithin Walter answers your legal questions, e.g.,
> Can I really jaywalk in front of cops downtown?
> Can I jaywalk anywhere in Madison?
> Why don't you arrest Dr. Know for visiting The Rising Sun?

So. What do you think?
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Re: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL ALL

Postby Henry Chinaski » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:26 am

I'm all for giving Dr. Know a column. Let H.R. have one too.
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