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Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

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Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby Ned Flanders » Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:45 pm

Since none of us want to disrupt Joycie's daisy chain, I've taken the initiative to start a rogue thread where we can honor TDPF's morons, misfits and mongrels. You know them, they're the Forons you love to hate: They go against the grain, skewer the in-crowd and aren't in a band. They exist on the fringe of the Forum's group think bubble. They've been accused of being spies, living in their mom's basement, assuming between 1 and 100 different identities, puppy drowning and stealing candy from small children.

In most cases these accusations are accurate.

So let's take time to salute the idiots who generate the clicks and fuel the hate.

I'll start off by offering a posthumous tribute to the late, great David Blaska. The guy was escorted out the door under mysterious circumstances and, as a final slap in the face, was replaced by the milquetoast Trolley Dave. During his short stay he generated enough heat and hate to light a small city. Clearly he was doing something right. He was last seen working the afternoon shift at a Subway in Columbus. Good night, sweet prince.....
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby jjoyce » Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:54 pm

Ned's #8... and he can't effin' stand it!

Image

Not to derail the above, but Dave was here long before Blaska was not here.
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby Ned Flanders » Tue Oct 16, 2012 5:07 pm

Joycie, I'm getting all choked up :( . This is a great, great honor that I will cherish through the early evening today.
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby Ned Flanders » Tue Oct 16, 2012 5:27 pm

I'd like to pose a question: Ladies, have you seen the old guy wearing the too-tight Harvard t-shirt rocking the greasy gray pony tail while riding his recumbent bike along the sidewalk? If so, you’ve met the luvable Henry Vilas.

He spends his fat pension on booze and traveling and his posts are as inane as they are voluminous. He shows no particular knowledge of history, politics or current events, but that does not dissuade him in the least. There is a rumor that SAT scores increased by 10.7% in the MMSD when he retired.

Bravo Hank. We couldn't do it without you!
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby Ned Flanders » Tue Oct 16, 2012 5:55 pm

When he’s not lending copies of Lady Chatterly’s Lover to prisoners or blogging about his troll doll collection, he’s busy writing unintentionally hilarious restaurant review for our own Isthmus. Although he must have liquid lard running through his veins, he can’t seem put thought to paper without committing one knee-slapping boner after another. From categorizing bagels as exotic fringe food to attempting to review the offerings of a restaurant no longer serving food, our own Book Police has warmed the clogged arteries of each and every one of us with his kooky takes on Madison’s gastro-joints.
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:47 pm

Both of the articles you refer to, "Ned" -- and let me remind everyone, he refers to pretty much only those two, tirelessly -- were written and published over four years ago. I've done a lot more writing since then; maybe you should read up a little bit. You might even find some new perceived gaffe to replace these tired old rags.

Oh, who am I kidding. "Ned," you said it best yourself:

Ned Flanders wrote:troll
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby scratch » Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:26 am

Keep 'em coming, Neddy. I don't agree with your specifics in this thread a lot more than I agree with your usual crap, but the counterpoint is entertaining and you're staying in character marvelously.

Any predictions on whether Meade will rate higher in Jason's top ten or yours?
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby Ned Flanders » Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:27 pm

These two might be in bands, but they really love petitioning the powers at Isthmus to ban people. As long time posters, these two are truly charter members of TDPF’s Wack Pack. Whether it’s an unintelligible late night drunken rant, startling revelations about a girlfriend’s STD, petitioning Jason to jettison a luvable rightie or just their twisted spin on the usual leftist pabulum, this “duo of dumb” will put a smile on your face and a spring in your step. Thanks pj and Fistie. By showing us how bad things can get, you make us feel better about ourselves!
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby pjbogart » Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:05 pm

Fistie's girlfriend had an STD? I don't remember that one. I never had a girlfriend with an STD, though I once picked up a yeast infection from a young lady. It was terrible, Ned, and the doctor's visit was even worse. Ever wonder what those long wooden Q-tips in the doctor's office are for? Yeah, all the way down... two of them, and the second one had a dry route to pass.

Fortunately a few days of antibiotics and I was as good as new.
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Re: Official Unofficial Top Ten All-Time Forons Thread

Postby rrnate » Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:08 am

Ned clearly has a problem with musicians and their cool shoes. Very understandable.
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