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David Sedaris

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David Sedaris

Postby boston_jeff » Wed Oct 08, 2008 11:09 am

I thought his comments about the undecideds in this election ("the chicken vs. the human shit") last night were pretty funny. Is anybody out there really undecided? How about you avid debate watchers, are any of you undecided here in Madison? Just curious.
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Postby fisticuffs » Wed Oct 08, 2008 11:11 am

The Daily Show had a nice segment about the "Stupid" section of the undecided voter population. Then they broke that down into categories like Fucktards and Tiger Petters.

http://blog.indecision2008.com/2008/10/ ... upid-vote/
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Postby Shipley » Wed Oct 08, 2008 11:18 am

I was way up in the nosebleed section for Sedaris. Could barely see him, so to save my eyesight, I just leaned back and pretended I was listening to him on NPR or one of his books on tape. He was of course hilarious and fun. I'm envious of his ability to recount nothing more than stories from his life and turn it into comedy gold.

A lot of hipsters and smarties in the crowd, since Sedaris is cool (as his introduction mentioned), but who am I to judge?
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Postby boston_jeff » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:43 pm

I bought the new book and waited in line for him to sign it before the show. We were the last people turned away so an Overture staff marked down that we were first on a piece of paper and signed it, she did that for about 20 people and said that we could be first for the after-show signing.

Of course, when we came out, some Overture jerkoff had decided that this was a bad idea and about 200 people were already in line. He was pretty rude about the whole thing. We would not have expected to "jump the line" if she hadn't told us we could (it was her idea). About 20 of us were pretty bummed. We would've come out earlier if we would've known. Oh well.
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Postby Logjam » Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:50 pm

A few highlights from the show. I'm paraphrasing from memory, feel free to correct me if I didn't get these right:

"I couldn't tell if Johnny was gay. Alcoholics, like prisoners and Saudis, tend to have sex with anybody as long as its dark. Their motto is, what happens in the dark stays in the dark".

About this time in an election the focus always turns to the undecideds. Who are these people, especially in this election? It's like the flight attendant wheeled the food cart up next to you and said, "would you like the chicken, or the human feces with broken pieces of glass in it?" To be undecided is to pause and say "how is the chicken cooked?"

He was talking about signing books after his shows and how he likes to ask people questions while signing their book. He said he'll usually ask American couples if they have children and he cringes every time they say "oh, our dogs are our children". Recently in Munich he was signing a book for a woman and he asked he if she had any dogs. "My children are my dogs".
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Postby Ducatista » Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:29 pm

Logjam wrote:..."would you like the chicken, or the human feces with broken pieces of glass in it?"...

Close, but it was more like: "The flight attendant arrives at your row and asks, 'Could I interest you in the chicken? [dramatic pause] Or would you prefer the human shit?'" The crowd ROARED. Once we'd quieted down, he added "'...with broken glass in it.'"

For some reason, one that stuck with me was: "After anal sex, we'll have shortcake!"

Because I'm nine, probably. Or I like shortcake and anal sex.
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Postby jjoyce » Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:13 am

One of Sedaris' gifts is his timing. I wasn't there, but I can imagine him delivering the chicken bit, complete with pauses.
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