Go easy on the kids, Chuck. There are a lot of things you can hold on to that will help prevent your fall even if you are fall-down drunk. For example, at least once a month people discover that they can use the buttons that buzz the apartments in my building to break their fall. I know, it's really altruistic of me to have them out there for people to push and grab while drunk, but what can I say, I'm just that kind of guy.
Also, they can probably hold on to the sax player who plays outside ben & jerry's. Although, in an exciting development, recently there was a different sax player near there who was actually decent. Kids, don't grab onto that person. Only the bad sax player, please.