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Funniest thing I read all month

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Funniest thing I read all month

Postby kurt_w » Wed May 18, 2011 10:34 am

Newt Gingrich's walk back tour reached its zenith Tuesday night, as Gingrich personally apologized to Paul Ryan for dismissing his Medicare plan as "right wing social engineering." In an added twist, Gingrich claims that the merest mention of his extensive condemnation of Ryan's budget from Sunday's Meet The Press by Democrats is now out of bounds as a result.

"Any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood, because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate and unfortunate," he told FOX's Greta Van Susteren.


Poor Newt. Must be hard for someone with such a massive ego to be forced to go through this kind of ritual public humiliation.

Gingrich could now be analogized to a rat caught in the act of fleeing a sinking ship and forced to climb back aboard and apologize to its inebriated captain.
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Re: Funniest thing I read all month

Postby jman111 » Wed May 18, 2011 10:43 am

I ABSOLUTELY love that quote. To insist that any effort to accurately quote him "is a falsehood" because he now claims that what he said was inaccurate and unfortunate.

You just can't make this shit up.
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Re: Funniest thing I read all month

Postby kurt_w » Wed May 18, 2011 10:54 am

It's a good thing he didn't actually quote the words himself when he said "Any ad quoting these words is a falsehood" because then the statement itself would have been a falsehood, which would have made it true, which would have made it false, which would have made ... BRRAAAWWWKKKK

Aaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee, the universe is collapsing into a logical black hole! Run for your lives!
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Re: Funniest thing I read all month

Postby DCB » Wed May 18, 2011 12:59 pm

"Any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood, because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate and unfortunate," he told FOX's Greta Van Susteren.

The new GOP brand: "#not intended to be a factual statement"
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Re: Funniest thing I read all month

Postby jman111 » Wed May 18, 2011 1:31 pm

Finally, something they can all agree on.
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Re: Funniest thing I read all month

Postby Kenneth Burns » Wed May 18, 2011 3:28 pm

This is the operative statement. The others are inoperative.
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Re: Funniest thing I read all month

Postby Carol » Wed May 18, 2011 5:24 pm

Notice that "right wing social engineering" = "left wing social engineering." Both parties are colluding in a conspiracy to turn this country into a tyranny over the details of our personal lives. It shows what rats the Republicans are for taking back criticism of it. And it shows what rats the Democrats are for not ever attacking it in the first place.
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Re: Funniest thing I read all month

Postby kurt_w » Thu May 19, 2011 6:27 am

This comment by Newt's press secretary is just comedy gold:

“The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding,” Tyler wrote. “Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.”


Can't you just see Gingrich as some kind of befuddled water buffalo gunned down by AK-47 wielding sheep at a cocktail party on Noah's Ark?

---------------------------------

And does a man who just ran up a quarter-million-dollar tab at Tiffany's really want to sneer about "the establishment's cocktail party invite list"?

"... out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich the enraged water buffalo, snorting madly and clutching in his left forefoot a $1595 Brady tote in onyx quilted nappa leather with studs, while a $5000 Elsa Peretti® Mesh necklace in 18k gold swung wildly from his inflated neck...."
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