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Drunk Posts

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Drunk Posts

Postby pjbogart » Sat Dec 29, 2012 1:26 am

Bdog seems to like my drunk posts more than my sober posts, perhaps because he can relate to them better, perhaps because he enjoys thoughts that aren't adulterated by sobriety.

Let's keep this thread chock-full of drunk posts. As in, don't even respond to the posts unless you happen to be drunk. And don't worry if you post your drunk-post at 10am, we won't judge you.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby pjbogart » Sat Dec 29, 2012 1:52 am

My first drunk post will have a special Christmas flavor. It's about how my moron of a brother-in-law managed to make my mother cry over Christmas dinner, with a little help from his wife (my sister).

Mike seems perfectly content to be an uneducated dolt with a plethora of strong opinions, and he displayed his lack of tact over our Christmas ham by pointing out that after Barack Obama was elected President, gun enthusiasts rushed to their local gun stores and bought three million assault rifles. Now, as Mike pointed out, he wasn't blaming the Newtown, Connecticut shooting on Barack Obama, but it's a fact that after Obama was elected, there were more assault rifles on the streets.

My mother was livid, as I think any thinking person would have been, regardless of your political bend. She stormed out of the house and got into her car, leaving behind her blind husband who was busy imbibing the delicious Pig's Ass Porter than I bought him at Brennan's. If it wasn't enough to somehow blame the President for the irrational hatred that rednecks display for Obama, connecting him to the senseless murder of 20 first graders should be offensive to even the most stalwart of Republicans. But it isn't, at least not universally.

So I offer this suggestion, in my compromised state of mind, that all NRA members be rounded up and castrated. It's not so much a belief that by depriving them of their hormonal aggression will make them better citizens, though I'm sure this is true, but that it's a frightening world where morons consider utopia to be a place where armed guards protect six year-olds from roving bands of lunatics.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby amused2death » Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:20 am

Considering that your brother in law specifically said that he was not blaming B.O. that clearly your mom was a little oversensitive. And as usual your post is dripping with the elitism that you feel toward the people that aren't as educated and informed as the almighty pj.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby grumpybear » Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:04 pm

New Glarus Black Top is pretty good with wild rice turkey soup.
PJ is not an elitist by my standards but I am just a dumb ole warehouse worker. What do I know.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby bdog » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:00 pm

Jesus fucking Christ, let's get the shittiest possible field for the GOTY.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby bdog » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:04 pm

Yeah I think towing the Space Shuttle solves that sudden acceleration problem.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby bdog » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:32 pm

It'll take 71 points to make my original prediction true.


I'm an optimist; this is gonna be a helluva quarter.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby Mad Howler » Mon Dec 31, 2012 2:34 am

Meh, and like always EtOH make world go round.
Nice thread.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby Ned Flanders » Mon Dec 31, 2012 3:51 pm

Sounds like 'ol pj celebrated an Adams-Friendship Christmas.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby pjbogart » Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:39 pm

Ned Flanders wrote:Sounds like 'ol pj celebrated an Adams-Friendship Christmas.


Did you post that drunk, Ned? Because I'm pretty sure the instructions are that you're not allowed to post unless you're drunk. Yeah, I'm drunk already... or well on my way. Have to be up early, so I'm drinking fast because I earned it.

I wasn't aware that posting while drunk needed any additional explanation, but I offered it anyway and this skullfucker still can't get it right. Douche.

Hey doppel, call the repetitive posting police and tell them I called Ned a douche again. Oh, and by the way, you're a fucking douche too, so tell them to double up my citation.

I can't believe that the Republicans re-elected Boehner as House Speaker. I really thought they'd veer to the right and put a Teaper darling in charge, like Eric Cantor or David Duke. You almost have to wonder if the Koch Botherers are backing down because the voters just took a giant dump in their tea cups. Ol' Weepy gets another shot at herding cats, I guess.

And to all the fuckers who continue to drag out the Paulie Heenan tragedy, fuck you. Seriously, just shut the fuck up. Walter is going to have to live with the memory, Paulie doesn't have the luxury of coming to terms with his poor judgement. End of fucking story.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby Madsci » Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:45 pm

Sure why not?
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby doppel » Thu Jan 10, 2013 12:19 am

pjbogart wrote:Hey doppel, call the repetitive posting police and tell them I called Ned a douche again. Oh, and by the way, you're a fucking douche too, so tell them to double up my citation.


From now on that's "Mr. Fucking Douche" to you. Only because you don't seem to able to come up with anything else. Or as Mr.T used to say, "pity the fool whose only insult is "douche".
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby pjbogart » Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:35 am

Man, that Colin Kaepernick kid is the real fucking deal. Dude has an arm, feet and even a head! The Packers didn't exactly bring their A-game, but I'm not sure that it would have mattered. Kaepernick was a monster, and with the exception of that early interception, his game was pretty much flawless. Pretty hard to beat that, even on a good day.

You pretty much have to peel Russet potatoes in order to avoid chewing on sand, right?

Doppel is mad that I called him a douche, and he's even fantasizing about being a bigger douche than he really is. I just ended that sentence with a preposition, but in my drunken state I can't figure out how to rewrite it.

Will Jason ever finish his top ten list?

When I was ten my librarian mother tossed the television down the front steps and didn't buy another one until I was in high school. This was probably a good move for everyone in the family that wasn't a television. I read a lot of books as a kid, and as a result, I have little knowledge of the Packers being terrible, cultural debacles like the A-Team and the Dukes of Hazzard, and why Doppel is such a douche.

I combed the World Wide Web in search of a picture that proved that Doppel was as douche, but this was all I came up with:

Image

I'm not even sure what that means, but the Motorhead t-shirt is pretty douchey. Is that you, Doppel?
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby Mad Howler » Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:48 am

My eyeballs are "jiggling" just enough and I will venture to say: Good post.
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Re: Drunk Posts

Postby kurt_w » Sun Jan 13, 2013 9:00 am

pjbogart wrote:Doppel is mad that I called him a douche, and he's even fantasizing about being a bigger douche than he really is. I just ended that sentence with a preposition, but in my drunken state I can't figure out how to rewrite it.


No, actually, you didn't end it with a preposition. Grammatically, the sentence is just fine.

Will Jason ever finish his top ten list?


He's waiting for the arrival of the DPF messiah.

When I was ten my librarian mother tossed the television down the front steps and didn't buy another one until I was in high school. This was probably a good move for everyone in the family that wasn't a television.


:D

I combed the World Wide Web in search of a picture that proved that Doppel was as douche, but this was all I came up with:

Image

I'm not even sure what that means, but the Motorhead t-shirt is pretty douchey. Is that you, Doppel?


That typeface is hard on the eyes, but if the second word is "wahrheit" then it means "double truth".
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