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Favorite Masturbation Phrase

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Postby supaunknown » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:52 pm

I'll give Big Mike credit for my fav:

"I've got a hot date with Handrea."
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Postby Hank_Venison » Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:12 pm

FAVORITE MASTURBATION PHRASE?
Gee, I don't know, I don't say a whole lot when I'm masturbating, let alone an entire phrase!
It's mostly just a lot of heavy breathing & maybe some grunts & moans.
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Postby fennel » Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:49 pm

Hank_Venison wrote:FAVORITE MASTURBATION PHRASE?
Gee, I don't know, I don't say a whole lot when I'm masturbating, let alone an entire phrase!
It's mostly just a lot of heavy breathing & maybe some grunts & moans.


No? Not even "Sweet Jesus!"?
Or, "Rejoice, for she has come!"
Or, "Into my hands I commend thy spirit."
Or, "Gloria in Excelsis Day-O" (per Harry Belafonte)
Or the collective fireworks-watching "Oooooooooooo."
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Postby Maxine » Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:44 pm

Scratching my pony.
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Postby Bwis53 » Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:51 pm

Maxine wrote:Scratching my pony.


Jezebel!
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Postby Maxine » Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:39 pm

Bwis53 wrote:
Maxine wrote:Scratching my pony.


Jezebel!


Aww, geez. I don't remember posting that. I was having some bad ovary cramps Friday, so my doctor prescribed some muscle relaxants. While I was at Walgreens picking up my prescription I realized I had some subtle cold symptom so I picked up a bottle of Nyquil to down my prescription with. Next thing I know I wake up two days later in a daze with a sore box and all the crucifixes in my house are hanging upside down.
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Postby Bwis53 » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:15 pm

Poor Maxine, you've slipped. Wow, talk about a religous experience! You must get back on the wagon, er pony, er well you know what I mean. You know, they say masturbation is good for cramps... That's a tried and true old wive's remedy. Even a cheap little neck massager has got to be cheaper, and more fun, than your prescription and the Nyquil together. Ofcourse I've read that could be addictive too....
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Postby You would never guess » Sun Aug 19, 2007 7:46 pm

Maxine wrote:I'm sure you libtards love pumping your organs like you're searching for the last drop of beer from a keg at a frat party.

I'll pray for you, but it's probably a lost cause.


Maxine is a freak! She keeps calling me a drunk, now with the latest comment, I wonder what is wrong with her. Not everyone is a drunk. Did you have a drunk, abusive dad? Or what is your deal?
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Postby Maxine » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:00 pm

You would never guess wrote:
Maxine is a freak!


Oh, great! I'm getting called a freak by an ADHD alcoholic who was butt raped as a child by his retarted uncle/father and was birthed as a fetal-alcohol syndrome "miracle baby" who survived the booze & dope laden pregnancy of his syphylitic uterus host only because she was forced to take penicilin to shake off a bad case of the "mega-clap".
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Postby nickled&dimed » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:34 pm

I also thought this thread was about favorite phrase to utter during said act. I was going to offer "please, sheppy."
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Postby Dirty Dusty Rhoads » Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:26 pm

A couple that come to mind, so to speak:

• Tugging a batch off.
• Knuckle shuffle on the piss pump.
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Postby Maxine » Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:43 pm

"Waxing Nostalgic"
"Voting by proxy"
"Test driving a Toyota"
"Playing bad cop with the suspect"
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Postby You would never guess » Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:44 am

Maxine wrote:
You would never guess wrote:
Maxine is a freak!


Oh, great! I'm getting called a freak by an ADHD alcoholic who was butt raped as a child by his retarted uncle/father and was birthed as a fetal-alcohol syndrome "miracle baby" who survived the booze & dope laden pregnancy of his syphylitic uterus host only because she was forced to take penicilin to shake off a bad case of the "mega-clap".



You are a serious freak! None of that is obviously true. It is usually the one who claims others have issues who have the biggest issues. I will not lower to your level and makes jokes about thigs you have said. If you are religious, you are a fraud!
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Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:53 am

You would never guess wrote:...jokes about thigs you have said.

I put "thig jokes" into google images and I got a bunch of results. This is my favorite.

Image
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Postby Sheepy » Tue Aug 21, 2007 2:55 pm

"Firing off some knuckle children"

(OK, I stole this from "Family Guy")
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