MOBILE USERS: m.isthmus.com
Connect with Isthmus on Twitter · Facebook · Flickr · Newsletters · Instagram 
Wednesday, July 30, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 60.0° F  Fair
Collapse Photo Bar

Ever been in a fight?

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby boston_jeff » Tue Jul 28, 2009 12:30 pm

narcoleptish wrote:
Peacetrain wrote:
2nd one i learned that no matter how many movies you see, DO NOT attempt any type of karate kick unless you've taken karate lessons


Without sounding too disrespectful I gotta say I always got a kick (no pun) out of karate guys in street fights. I can count on a blind woodworkers hand how many effective kicks I've seen thrown. One particularly funny episode was at the bar I worked when two guys stepped out to the parking lot to settle their differences. First guy kicks his shoes off and starts throwing little kicks like he's warming up. Fight starts and second guy promptly stomps on first guys bare foot with his work boot. Fight ends shortly after this.

I've seen judo type throws work really well in a fight but without a doubt the straight right hand is the best fight-ender out there. That, and the spoken word.


I'd go with the left.
boston_jeff
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 2603
Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 12:41 pm
Location: Near East

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby narcoleptish » Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:59 pm

Yes, the hook is actually my best punch. I've just seen a lot of fights end with the right.

In practice, a well thrown punch to someone's head in a street fight is a good way to break your hand. Plus, a lot of guys just have really hard heads and can shrug it off. So I always recommend going to the body, specifically the ribs. Lombardi or Patton said "fatigue makes cowards of us all", and the inability to take a breath feels about the same.
narcoleptish
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 3615
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 1:35 am

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Marvell » Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:35 am

I might have almost gotten into a fight last night; I'm not really sure.

Here's the deal:

Anyone who's familiar with my posts has probably already recognized that I have a real problem gladly suffering the actions of fools. It's my cross to bear, in that there are an inordinate number of fools walking the earth.

Case in point; I was out last night riding the Capitol City Trail. I had just turned back onto the trail right where it starts up again off of Glacier Valley Rd, right before Gunflint Trail. Right at the top of the little hill that's there behind the school there's a couple with their bikes parked right smack-dab in the middle of the trail, completely blocking both lanes. The gal was apparently having some kind of trouble with her bike, and is just starting to remount it. The dude - backwards snowboard hat and stupid hipster goatee and all - is just sitting there on his bike, watching her.

Why do they have to be taking up the entire bike path? Who knows? It's one of those mysteries of life, like the migration patterns of the swallows or the popularity of American Idol.

So, as I come up to them, I say (as I always do) "on your left." Only there's no left to which I can go, other than on the grass.

She spazzes out, and almost turns back into me. To her credit she blurted out what I assume was some kind of garbled apology. He just sits there, unmoving, like a lump of Axe-smelling meat.

So as I pass him I mutter under my breath, "Dude - be fucking smart."

"What did you say?" I hear him call after me, in that toneless, adenoidal voice that dumb young white men think makes them sound tough.

I love that. What the hell does he think I said? They were doing something dumb - she knows it, he knows it, I know it - and I said something to them. In that context, what would I be saying to him? "Dude - I like your hat?"

Well, it takes all kinds - and I speed on my merry way. It's a beautiful night; at the top of the hill there parallel to East Clayton Road I look out and the farmer's field is full of deer and wild turkeys, so I slow down to drink in the view. I think again of my ma's usual quote: "Where every prospect pleases, and only man is vile."

Finally I get to Lake Farm Park, and as I turn left to head back towards Madison I happen to look back down the bike path.

And there's dude! Steaming up the bike path towards me, still about 100 yards out, his face fixed with a grim resolve. The poor dumb fucker has been chasing me literally for miles, his mind doubtlessly roiled by scenarios of triumphant vengeance, his misfortunate girlfriend gamely trying to keep up with his Travis Bickleean pursuit.

"Oh for christ's sake," I think to myself. I slam ol' Bessie into her top gear, and I leave them behind like a fart in a wind tunnel.

I didn't even bother turning around to verify that I had blown their doors off; why bother? Fitchburg chump suckers think they can step to the G? That's unpossible!
Marvell
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6976
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 11:28 pm
Location: At one with time and space

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Kyle Motor » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:04 am

Marvell wrote:Fitchburg chump suckers think they can step to the G? That's unpossible!

I think you've got yourself and new song there.
Kyle Motor
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 3266
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2002 1:48 pm
Location: Rock'n'roll crazy nights

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby nevermore » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:29 am

Kyle Motor wrote:
Marvell wrote:Fitchburg chump suckers think they can step to the G? That's unpossible!

I think you've got yourself and new song there.

That, Marvell, made my week. Kudos, sir. Kudos.
nevermore
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 3833
Joined: Tue May 22, 2001 11:07 am

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Fat.The.Gangster » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:46 am

Tough Guy Marvell wrote: So as I pass him I mutter under my breath, "Dude - be fucking smart."


Huge Wussy Marvell wrote:Oh for christ's sake," I think to myself. I slam ol' Bessie into her top gear, and I leave them behind like a fart in a wind tunnel.

I didn't even bother turning around to verify that I had blown their doors off; why bother?


So let me get this straight, you curse at the guy (in your toneless, adenoidal voice that anonymous internet losers use on message boards to sound tough) for what you perceive to be a transgression of bike path etiquette and then you flee like a little wuss when he attempts to confront you. I thought the title of this thread was "Ever Been In a Fight?" not "Ever been a douchbag loser who can't or won't back-up his tough talk?"
Fat.The.Gangster
Forum Addict
 
Posts: 357
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:05 pm
Location: Easy Street

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Marvell » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:17 pm

Fat.The.Gangster wrote:His usual asshole shit.


Whatever, dude. We've already established that I couldn't give less of a rat's ass of what you think of me, so feel free to say whatever comically-cliched 'manly' crap you want.

Then you can blow me. Or not - I imagine your oral sex technique is just as crappy as everything else you do, so it's not like I'd be missing out.
Marvell
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6976
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 11:28 pm
Location: At one with time and space

The resemblance is called 'identity'

Postby Marvell » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:28 pm

PS - it's spelled 'douchebag.'

You, of all people, should know this.
Marvell
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6976
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 11:28 pm
Location: At one with time and space

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Fat.The.Gangster » Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:19 pm

Marvell, 'Mr. 5000 The Hard Way' wrote: . . . so feel free to say whatever comically-cliched 'manly' crap you want.


What, like . . .

Marvell, 'Manly-Crap' Hater wrote: Dude - be fucking smart.


or . . .

Marvell, Lance Armstrong of Avoiding Fights wrote:I didn't even bother turning around to verify that I had blown their doors off; why bother?


Hey man, I'm just trying to get the facts straight. You see a woman in the bike path attempting to fix something and then, instead of directing your invective blather at her, swear at her boyfriend whom you identify as doing nothing. He, rightfully, wonders why you are popping your mouth-off and calls you on your shit. You peddle away to wax poetic about the bucolic splendor of a field and then get scared when he comes back to confront you. It seems to me I don't have to say anything manly when your actions speak volumes themselves.
Fat.The.Gangster
Forum Addict
 
Posts: 357
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:05 pm
Location: Easy Street

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby fennel » Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:27 pm

Fat.The.Gangster wrote:What, like . . .
Give it up, Fat. You're like the legless, armless flailing black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
fennel
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 3124
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:24 pm
Location: Inside the Green Zone, Madison

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Fat.The.Gangster » Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:46 pm

fennel wrote:Give it up, Fat. You're like the legless, armless flailing black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.


Just so you two simps understand, internet fights do not count as real fights. Nor do the voices in your head arguing about whether to speak to girls, bathe yourselves, or act in a reasonable manner in public.
Fat.The.Gangster
Forum Addict
 
Posts: 357
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:05 pm
Location: Easy Street

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby fennel » Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:50 pm

What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
fennel
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 3124
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:24 pm
Location: Inside the Green Zone, Madison

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Marvell » Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:52 pm

Fat.The.Gangster wrote: It seems to me I don't have to say anything manly when your actions speak volumes themselves.


Indeed they do.

Thanks for the daily dose of unintentional irony. It's nice to see that you're still putting the 'Fat' in 'fatuous.'
Marvell
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6976
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 11:28 pm
Location: At one with time and space

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby ArturoBandini » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:07 pm

Marvell wrote:Anyone who's familiar with my posts has probably already recognized that I have a real problem gladly suffering the actions of fools. It's my cross to bear, in that there are an inordinate number of fools walking the earth.
...
So as I pass him I mutter under my breath, "Dude - be fucking smart."

Why do you do this to yourself?

Foron bike race, anyone?
ArturoBandini
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 2251
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:54 pm
Location: near west

Re: Ever been in a fight?

Postby Marvell » Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:24 pm

ArturoBandini wrote:
Marvell wrote:Anyone who's familiar with my posts has probably already recognized that I have a real problem gladly suffering the actions of fools. It's my cross to bear, in that there are an inordinate number of fools walking the earth.
...
So as I pass him I mutter under my breath, "Dude - be fucking smart."

Why do you do this to yourself?

Foron bike race, anyone?


Beats me.

Maybe I think people will actually try to become smart if it's pointed out to them how stupid they're being?

Maybe I'm hoping it'll save someone the trip to the emergency room that will inevitably result from when they plow into one of these human speed bumps on a blind curve?

Maybe I'm just a goddamn moron?
Marvell
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6976
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 11:28 pm
Location: At one with time and space

PreviousNext

Return to Catch All

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

moviesmusiceats
Select a Movie
Select a Theater


commentsViewedForum
  ISTHMUS FLICKR

Promotions Contact us Privacy Policy Jobs Newsletters RSS
Collapse Photo Bar