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Limericks, anyone?

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:19 pm

Bwis53 wrote:My beer loving pop had this on his back porch:

There once was a gal named Anheuser,
Who thought that no man could surprise her,
But Pabst thought he'd take a chance,
And got Schiltz in her pants,
Now she a little Budweiser


I hope that's not what your Dad had hanging on his porch, 'cuz -- and boy am I getting tired of having to point this out -- that's not a limerick!! The meter in that third line is so painful I actually had to take some aspirin after reading it and the punchline has been mangled into the realm of nonsense.

Here's what your Dad's sign probably actually said:

"There was a young girl named Anheuser
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser."
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Bwis53 » Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:29 pm

She's a little Budweiser.

Sorry, I wish I'd saved the cast iron wall hanging. I'm pretty sure I recited it as it hung.

I don't save a lot of stuff. This one would have been fun, in my small collection.
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:41 pm

Bwis53 wrote:She's a little Budweiser.


"And now she's a little Budweiser" is a perfectly acceptable last line (although "sadder Budweiser" is funnier, IMHO.)

But "But Pabst thought he'd take a chance" is not acceptable. It just isn't. Just read your version out loud and then the one I quoted (which was not something I re-worked myself or anything, that's the way it was published way back in 1927.) There's no possible way to recite yours without tripping over that third line. Limericks have a natural flow and there's simply too many syllables in the line you provided.
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Bwis53 » Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:57 pm

Well, Prof. now I'm curious who published it. I'm not saying you're wrong. I wonder if my funny memory just wants to think: She's a little bud wiser... :wink:
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:08 pm

Bwis53 wrote:Well, Prof. now I'm curious who published it. I'm not saying you're wrong. I wonder if my funny memory just wants to think: She's a little bud wiser... :wink:

The question would be, what's the pun on "bud," if not "but"?

Regardless, the publication in question appears to be this:

http://www.csufresno.edu/folklore/drink ... /index.htm

See rhyme XXVII.
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Maeve » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:16 pm

pun = a little "bit" wiser.
"The sadder but wiser girl for me, for me" -- Music Man.
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby david cohen » Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:35 pm

There once was a girl named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:06 am

david cohen wrote:There once was a girl named Alice
Who used dynamite for a phallus
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas


FIXED!
Grrrrrrrrr!
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby rabble » Thu Sep 23, 2010 8:34 am

Prof. Wagstaff wrote:FIXED!
Grrrrrrrrr!

Grammatically, perhaps. But the original is the exact wording of the limerick I read in a stolen Playboy, circa 1965.

I remember it because at the time I didn't know how to pronounce "vagina" and couldn't understand how it could rhyme with "Carolina."

And you CAN make the original wording work with only a little difference of inflection.
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby narcoleptish » Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:55 am

There once was a thread on the forum
That failed in limerick decorum
With each rhyme that he read
Wags hurt more in the head
Being a professor was starting to bore him
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:34 pm

rabble wrote:...the original is the exact wording of the limerick I read in a stolen Playboy, circa 1965.

Forgive me for doubting your memory, but a quick Google search turns up four different versions of that limerick, all by people who "remember it exactly because they read it in a Playboy" when they were young enough for such a cheap thrill to still make an impression. Note that Bwis was also sure they remembered their dad's limerick exactly, yet the published evidence suggests otherwise.

rabble wrote:And you CAN make the original wording work with only a little difference of inflection.
If you have to force it, it's a pretty piss-poor limerick, IMHO. That said, if you simply drop the "Who" from your version ("There once was a girl named Alice/Used a dynamite stick for a phallus") it works great, and that is one of the many other "perfectly remembered" constructions I found while trying to track down how this was originally published. I'd even argue that construction works better than my supposed "correction", which I admit is pretty clunky (hey, it was 4AM...), so I'm gonna go ahead and admit defeat on this one. And narco, I appreciate the effort so much, I won't even bother with yours.

Anyway, chances are that rabble's limerick was written by Shel Silverstein, so I'm a little surprised I can't find a real citation-as-published for it on the Web. Anyone have access to an old stash of Playboys?
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby narcoleptish » Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:23 pm

Prof. Wagstaff wrote: And narco, I appreciate the effort so much, I won't even bother with yours.


Perhaps you'll change your mind at 4:00 AM. The third line and the word "Wags' kinda bug me, but I can spend only so much time on these things. Maybe you should change your name.
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:36 pm

narcoleptish wrote:The third line and the word "Wags' kinda bug me, but I can spend only so much time on these things. Maybe you should change your name.

I suppose instead of being Prof. Wagstaff of Huxley College, I could just as easily be Prof. Huxley of Wagstaff College, at least until Mrs. Huxley shows up or Wagstaff College is forced to change its name for the sake of deceny (the abbreviation WC being offensive to people with delicate sensibilities, after all.) But Hux ain't much of an improvement over Wags, which is unusual, as most things are.
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A Lively Limerick

Postby city2countrygal » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:18 am

Here's a quote Grandpa Z used to say
when my years were 3,
and I was running around his house in play.

There was a girl
with a curl
right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was bad,
she was really, really bad.
And when she was good,
she was really, really good.

I had blonde hair then. It slowly changed to brown as I got taller.
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Re: Limericks, anyone?

Postby david cohen » Thu Feb 07, 2013 8:39 pm

Courtesy of the great John Volby:

A Rabbi who hailed from Peru
Was vainly attempting to screw
His wife said Oy Vey
If you keep up this way
The Messiah will come before you
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