MOBILE USERS: m.isthmus.com
Connect with Isthmus:         Newsletters 
Monday, December 29, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 16.0° F  Mostly Cloudy
Collapse Photo Bar

Where did all these dishes come from?

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby pjbogart » Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:43 pm

I think I'm a pretty tidy person, at least for a 40 year-old single guy. I wipe the fuzzy dust off my lamp bases at least once every two years and buy air fresheners to cover up the smell of whatever is rotting underneath my couch, but seriously, where did all these dishes come from?

Now, as Meade would tell you, I'm morbidly obese, so I probably use more dishes than your average person but I wash them at least every few days and can never even fit them all in the dish rack. I have a dishwasher, but I never use it, figuring that if it's only me I couldn't possibly generate so many dishes, but there they are... a big pile of them. Where did they all come from?

I've put some time into thinking about it, but given that I'm usually drunk and high on prescription pain killers, my mind is muddled and I hardly recognize my dishes, much less the crusty mold growing in them. I don't remember eating that. I must have been drunk. And I don't even recognize this dish! Where did it come from?

Last week, before I did my dishes, I went to Target and shoplifted a bunch of colored tabs and Sharpies thinking that I could label my dishes by the days of the week, which might aid me in remembering when I used them and what was in them, but when I went to do my dishes, most of them had no tabs. I washed all the dishes, balanced them in a teetering tower in my dish rack and then used a kitchen towel as a makeshift rack to stack the rest of my dishes. When I was all done, I found a brand new coffee maker on my counter, but I don't remember stealing that. Perhaps it was a Christmas present but I'm not really sure where it came from.

Well, I'm going to have to make it a point to do my dishes more often. Perhaps I'll take some time out from my busy schedule of standing on my porch and shouting racial epithets at pedestrians, as I'm prone to do from time to time. I hate to damage my well-earned reputation as a raging bigot, but someone's got to do these dishes, even if I have no idea where they all came from.
pjbogart
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6189
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:57 pm

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby fennel » Wed Mar 13, 2013 9:08 pm

I hate to break it to you, but there's no such thing as an air freshener.
fennel
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 3246
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:24 pm
Location: Inside the Green Zone, Madison

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby Bwis53 » Wed Mar 13, 2013 9:48 pm

I know people who use disposable dishes just because they hate dishwashing so much!
Bwis53
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6460
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2002 9:39 pm
Location: Bay Creek

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby ArturoBandini » Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:14 am

pjbogart wrote:I have a dishwasher, but I never use it, figuring that if it's only me I couldn't possibly generate so many dishes, but there they are... a big pile of them.
Just start using your dishwasher. They do a very nice job and are more energy and resource efficient than hand-washing under most circumstances. Also, letting the dishwasher to the work frees up more time for drugs and booze for you.
ArturoBandini
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 2256
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:54 pm
Location: near west

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby rabble » Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:38 am

I think you should stay up at night watching your kitchen sink. Someone is breaking in and either dirtying your dishes or adding new dirty ones. Given that all those color coordinated tabs with the dates and ID number were gone the next time you checked, I'm inclined towards the latter theory. You have a dirtydish gnome. Probably inadvertently pissed him off some time ago. Try leaving some underpants laying around to sidetrack him.

Oh, and Arturo's right. Use your damn dishwasher.
rabble
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6553
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:50 pm

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby Stebben84 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:43 am

pjbogart wrote:Perhaps I'll take some time out from my busy schedule of standing on my porch and shouting racial epithets at pedestrians, as I'm prone to do from time to time. I hate to damage my well-earned reputation as a raging bigot, but someone's got to do these dishes, even if I have no idea where they all came from.


Just shout racial epithets at your dirty dished and maybe they'll go away. Kill two birds with one stone.
Stebben84
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 5175
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2006 12:59 pm

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby fisticuffs » Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:45 am

Image

Step 1: Sneak into Pj's place and leave a bunch of dirty dishes.
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit!
fisticuffs
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 7857
Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2004 2:49 pm
Location: Slightly outside of Madison

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby snoqueen » Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:33 pm

Did I go out with you in the 90s?

Everything makes sense but the math.
snoqueen
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 11856
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 11:42 pm

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby SidSeven » Wed Mar 27, 2013 6:42 am

They breed you know...at night...when your asleep...I have a similar problem with computers, i seem to have 14 of them, and i haven't bought one in about 9 years. I'm gonna pretend to be asleep ...& then turn on the light really fast & catch 'em at it.
SidSeven
Senior Member
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 9:58 am
Location: Madison

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby Galoot » Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:29 am

SidSeven, quit the crack before it kills you. Kept you up all night responding to every thread you could find, I take it?

Coming down is going to hurt. Don't take it out on us.
Galoot
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 1458
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2001 1:10 pm

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby SidSeven » Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:47 pm

Galoot wrote:SidSeven, quit the crack before it kills you. Kept you up all night responding to every thread you could find, I take it?

Coming down is going to hurt. Don't take it out on us.


What's the problem? I'm not allowed to post anything?
You took offense at my post? why?
Most of the topics I posted on have not been particularly active lately anyway. I loathe crack-heads by the way. And I don't see that I was 'taking it out' on anyone.
SidSeven
Senior Member
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 9:58 am
Location: Madison

Re: Where did all these dishes come from?

Postby pjbogart » Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:05 pm

SidSeven wrote:What's the problem? I'm not allowed to post anything? You took offense at my post? why?


I think the issue was volume, Sid. You posted about 30 times at 4am. You could have posted similar content in one rambling drunk post. Instead, you decided to clusterfuck the entire board.
pjbogart
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 6189
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:57 pm


Return to Catch All

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

moviesmusiceats
Select a Movie
Select a Theater


commentsViewedForum
  ISTHMUS FLICKR
Created with flickr badge.

Promotions Contact us Privacy Policy Jobs Newsletters RSS
Collapse Photo Bar