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Who would your zombie army devour? (v.2.0)

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Who would feel the wrath of your zombie army?

My goddamn mother-in-law...
1
6%
That check-out clerk at the co-op who lipped off to me...
3
17%
The 'Tom of Finland' looking guy driving the spotless Silverado who cut me off on the beltline...
5
28%
The prom queen who laughed at my braces...
0
No votes
Little Bobby Jenkins who didn't invite me to his birthday party...
0
No votes
Every fucker I ever met! Kill 'em all!!!
9
50%
 
Total votes : 18

Who would your zombie army devour? (v.2.0)

Postby Marvell » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:02 pm

Note: I already posted this in a thread in the Hype Exchange, where it was universally ignored. Being somewhat of a bull-headed, self-obsessed freak, I decided to 'unearth' it and give it one more spin through the graveyard of unappreciated posts. Let's see how much play it gets in its second iteration.

Okay, this is along the lines of the beloved "People Who Deserve to be Punched" thread - only, I suppose, more seasonally appropriate.

If you had a horde of gut-munchin' zombies at your bidding, who would you sick 'em on first?

Donald Trump or John Gard? Pat Robertson or bin Laden? Deion Sanders or Paris Hilton? Who's first on tap for some rough justice, all zombie-flavored?

Tell Satan Claus what you want, and if you've been very baaaad, maybe he'll bring it to you.

For a fee...Satan Claus don't do nothin' on spec...
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Postby AmyW » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:15 pm

I say everybody, since I don't like other people. I seem to be a magnet for idiocy. And the worst part is that those people think I'm dumber than they are. Idiots. :evil:
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Postby Violet_Skye » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:59 pm

My first victims would have to be my ex landlords. Hell, all landlords, let's be democratic. Grrraaarrrrggghhhh.
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Postby Flat_Atom » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:40 pm

Lottery ticket scratchers...MOVE THE HELL OVER AND LET ME PAY FOR MY $10 IN GAS ALREADY!!

People ahead of me who stop at an intersection on a green and refuse to wait in the middle forcing me to miss the light and wait for the next green...FUCK YOU, SERIOUSLY!!

People who don't read manuals and call into help desks for the most basic things causing the phone systems to bog down and wait times to skyrocket...LEARN TO READ!!
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Postby pjbogart » Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:06 pm

[rant=]Expanding on Flat-Atom's pet peeves, the jackass motherfucking cocksucking pencil-dick who pulls all the way over to the right in order to make a left hand turn at a busy intersection, essentially preventing anyone from making a right hand turn at their leisure.[/rant]

Oops, I lied. Anyone who still has a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker deserves to be torn apart by undead hordes. Unfortunately, zombies reportedly like to eat brains...
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Re: Who would your zombie army devour? (v.2.0)

Postby Marge » Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:44 pm

Marvell wrote:Note: I already posted this in a thread in the Hype Exchange, where it was universally ignored. Being somewhat of a bull-headed, self-obsessed freak, I decided to 'unearth' it and give it one more spin through the graveyard of unappreciated posts. Let's see how much play it gets in its second iteration.

Apparently nobody reads hype exchange. No wonder people are always posting their hype in the wrong damn place.

My zombie army will be tearing a mile-wide swath through the bible-belt, culminating in a flesh-eating free-for-all in D.C.
Notice I did not say Brain-eating.
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Postby shelly » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:24 pm

Flat_Atom wrote:People ahead of me who stop at an intersection on a green and refuse to wait in the middle forcing me to miss the light and wait for the next green...FUCK YOU, SERIOUSLY!!


That's funny because one of my pet peeves is the people who DO get caught in the intersection when the light turns red and prevent me from entering the intersection from the cross street when I actually do have the green light!
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Postby deSelby » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:37 pm

Me too. In bad weather, this can tie up traffic in all four directions. As a general rule, don't enter an intersection unless you know there'll be space for you on the other side. Or the flesh-eating zombies will get you.
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Postby Billy Shears » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:49 pm

It's a trick question. Everybody knows your zombie army turns on you at the end of the story and the screen fades out with you screaming in the background as the zombies slowly envelop you.

So, I would hand control of my zombie army over to Linda Tripp and then leave while she was busy reading the instructions.
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Postby kurt_w » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:12 pm

deSelby wrote:As a general rule, don't enter an intersection unless you know there'll be space for you on the other side.


Flat Atom seems to be talking about the specific case where someone is turning left at a traffic light, but has to wait for oncoming traffic. In that case, it is standard practice (endorsed by the DOT, no less*) to pull forward into the center of the intersection and wait there (keep your wheels straight, though!)

* Wisconsin Motorists' Handbook, p. 22.
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Re: Who would your zombie army devour? (v.2.0)

Postby kurt_w » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:18 pm

Marvell wrote:If you had a horde of gut-munchin' zombies at your bidding, who would you sick 'em on first?


I would sic (sic) them on your zombie army. Anyone who uses "sick" for "sic" is clearly very sick.
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Postby snoqueen » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:31 pm

Sick has standing as a second choice variant for sic here:

http://www.answers.com/topic/sic-2

Definitions: 1)To set upon; attack.
2) To urge or incite to hostile action; set: sicced the dogs on the intruders.

Now everyone can sic their zombie army on me for playing grammar police.
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Postby kurt_w » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:46 pm

Yes, I'm aware that some misguided references do allow "sick" as an alternate form of "sic". As I said, that's just sick. I'll stick with sic.
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Postby Marvell » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:35 pm

Grammar nazis!

They'd get the bite - wid a quickness.

I'd sic (sic) my zombies on every last one of 'em!
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Postby kurt_w » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:05 pm

Okay, that's it. I am going to have to sic my zombie army on whoever ate the brownie I was saving for my midafternoon snack.

You can now imagine an army, or at least a platoon, of animated corpses lurching down the hall of our engineering offices, yanking people out of their chairs and looking for brownie crumbs on their fingers.
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