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Who would your zombie army devour? (v.2.0)

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Who would feel the wrath of your zombie army?

My goddamn mother-in-law...
1
6%
That check-out clerk at the co-op who lipped off to me...
3
17%
The 'Tom of Finland' looking guy driving the spotless Silverado who cut me off on the beltline...
5
28%
The prom queen who laughed at my braces...
0
No votes
Little Bobby Jenkins who didn't invite me to his birthday party...
0
No votes
Every fucker I ever met! Kill 'em all!!!
9
50%
 
Total votes : 18

Postby Bwis53 » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:27 pm

Did you have your name on it?


I want my zombie army to go after the school administrator that used to bully me when we were both in middle school. But then again, I like to think he's gettin' his back, facin' up to it everyday and the media, hah!
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Postby kurt_w » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:44 pm

Bwis53 wrote:Did you have your name on it?


No, but it should have been obvious.

Why ... did you take it? If so, prepare to feel the wrath of my zombie horde.
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Postby Marvell » Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:33 pm

Now, now folks. Let's have a sense of proportion here - the zombie army isn't for settling little personal grudges like who took your brownie.

If wielding power over a zombie army is to have any meaning in these crazy, mixed-up times, one must use them for something more...grandiose.

World domination. The revival of some ancient, unspeakable evil. Something worthy of a horde of shambling corpses.

Know what I'm sayin'?

On the other hand, maybe it was one muthafuckin' gooood brownie...
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Postby Bwis53 » Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:53 pm

Or maybe it was a really shitty, stale, brownie, with bugs in it, and the brownie snatcher, got what he deserves. Kurt was saved...and avenged by karma?
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Postby citizen » Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:38 pm

Just make sure your zombie army doesn't have any 'simulated weapons of mass destruction'.
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Postby JeraSue » Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:13 pm

I'm a pedestrian, mostly. Never a driver.

So, I say, the jerks who turn right as soon as the light turns green and don't notice that I got the little white walky-man signal, too. Damn near run me over every time.

I have the right of way, so nyah.

Ooh, better yet, I might not want zombies to eat them. I might just want to make them drive around the obnoxious, screaming, excitable, cussing, asshole, teenage kids that make my life miserable and crowd the bus every so often.
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Postby small cheese » Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:31 am

Marvell wrote:If wielding power over a zombie army is to have any meaning in these crazy, mixed-up times, one must use them for something more...grandiose.

Would American Airlines fit that bill? Though hardly grandiose, they really pissed me off today.

I'm stuck in a hotel room in fucking Dallas. AA totally screwed me - I RAN to the gate to make my Madison connection. They pretty much slammed the door in my face, as I was about 2 minutes late because we had to wait for some passengers flying in from Tokyo before flying out of California and then, upon arrival, sat on the tarmac for an eternity.

I watched them put luggage on the plane. I yelled to the guy on the other side of the door who was just walking away from locking it, waving my ticket, this is my flight!! (Asshole sitting in the lounge laughed at me, he's lucky he didn't catch any wrath...but I had more important things to attend to: AA staff. All were bitches.)

So after two hours, I get to this hotel (which is nice, I admit - but I'm still pissed that I had to pay $25 for a cab after waiting an hour for the shuttle which was pulling out of the hotel parking lot as my cab went in - fifteen minutes my ass), and I walked to the gas station down the street to pick up toothpaste and brush, deodorant and tampons. Nobody has any idea where my luggage is.

Dallas is not a pedestrian-friendly city...in one "city" block I had two people yell something out of their cars to me, I understood nothing. Fucking rednecks. Another almost ran me over. I'm on 2 hours of sleep. (Dave Alvin kicked ass last night, and so did the beach bonfire afterwards.) Given my sleep-deprived state, I was not in any mood to deal with this shit. Regardless, I probably wouldn't have handled it much better with a solid 8.

American Airlines and all of Dallas can kiss my ass.
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Postby Dust Mite Rodeo » Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:54 pm

You'll need an awfully large zombie army to eat all of Dallas including Terrell Owens. Fortunately, Zombies are self-replicating, so you could start them in some smaller Texas town such as Crawford. Then they could eat their way east until the ranks of the Zombie horde have expanded sufficiently to get 'er done in Dallas. As far as the Airline goes, this clearly calls for "Zombies! On a Plane!"
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Postby snoqueen » Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:09 pm

Your zombie army can eat most of Texas for my money.
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Postby Gerard Jackson » Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:59 pm

AmyW wrote
I say everybody, since I don't like other people. I seem to be a magnet for idiocy. And the worst part is that those people think I'm dumber than they are. Idiots.


I'm with you Amy. People suck. Boss, coworkers, friends, strangers, neighbors, poloticians, I hate people; munch away.......
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Postby white_rabbit » Mon Aug 21, 2006 8:14 pm

Gerard Jackson wrote:AmyW wrote
I say everybody, since I don't like other people. I seem to be a magnet for idiocy. And the worst part is that those people think I'm dumber than they are. Idiots.


I'm with you Amy. People suck. Boss, coworkers, friends, strangers, neighbors, poloticians, I hate people; munch away.......


Closely guarded genius is often confused for stupidity.
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Postby small cheese » Mon Aug 21, 2006 9:49 pm

snoqueen wrote:Your zombie army can eat most of Texas for my money.

Cool. I think we could let Austin slide, maybe some other areas, too. Maybe.

And I'd also like to add one person: my roommate for not watering the windowbox underneath the kitchen window*. Nothing like leaving a cheery display and coming home to dead.

Or is it undead?

*Actually, it could have been and has been much worse - a while back I came home to a smashed up car (deer hit). Almost moved his shit to the curb for that one, but he used it to pick up his brother for the Ray Davies show, so I couldn't be pissed off for very long.
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Postby nickled&dimed » Mon Aug 21, 2006 10:48 pm

tech support.
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Postby Bwis53 » Mon Aug 21, 2006 10:55 pm

All them people who think they're English, 'cause they're walking on the left hand side of the sidewalk, hallway, doorways, bathrooms...slap 'em. Oh, yeah, and also those idiots with the big strollers at Farmers Market, shoppers who come to a dead stop, mid crowd, and the ones who walk clockwise. Just make them sit for about an hour between Orange Man and the pan flutist. And the drivers, yaking on their cell, no signal, crawl to the corner and suddenly turn.
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Postby Bwis53 » Mon Aug 21, 2006 10:56 pm

nickled&dimed wrote:tech support.


The ones from India!
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