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Sanford and Sons

Races for the Senate, U.S. House, etc. and other issues of national importance.

Sanford and Sons

Postby pjbogart » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:30 pm

What? Nobody wants to engage in wild speculation about the strange disappearance, reappearance and subsequent lies by the South Carolina Governor and potential Republican Presidential candidate Mark Sanford?

He was so distraught by being forced to accept Federal stimulus money by the courts and the South Carolina legislature that he disappeared for four days, leaving behind his wife and four sons on Father's day weekend while he took a stroll down the Appalachian Trail. Except the airport shows that he was actually on a plane returning from Argentina and I'm pretty sure the Appalachian Trail doesn't extend all the way to South America. What was he doing in Argentina and why didn't he tell anyone where he was going? He reworked his story to include the Argentina bit, ditching the Appalachian Trail story but never really explaining why he lied in the first place. Apparently, the new story is that he was driving along the coastal highway, except Argentina doesn't have a coastal highway so unless he was driving a tricycle or maybe handwalking down the two mile stretch that might qualify as a coastal highway, it seems he's reneging on his lies by coming up with more lies.

I know that it's all just wild speculation, but it sure as hell beats talking about two yokels who ran over a deer with their snowmobile.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby mrak » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:35 pm

I speculate not-so-wildly that the songs "Leaving On a Jet Plane" and "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" will figure promptly in upcoming campaigns against his re-election.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby fisticuffs » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:36 pm

I sort of mentioned it here:
viewtopic.php?f=40&t=46265

He's certainly not telling the truth but then again he IS a Republican Governor.

"So distressed from having to accept all this stimulus money" HA! That is the funniest damned thing I've ever heard. He doesn't seem to get this stressed out about the soaring unemployment, two wars, or the soaring price of health care. Boo mutha-fuckin-hoo Mr. Sanford. No doubt he was in S.A. selling out some working folk in his state or possibly cornholing a 12 year old boy or something.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby Chuck_Schick » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:41 pm

Are you people hearing this shit?

What a fucking crybaby! Jesus Christ, you Republicans aren't just morally weak (if not bankrupt), you're just fucking pussies. Oh, your marriage is a mess? Yeah, you and 50% of everyone else who gets married. What the fuck makes you so special that you can shirk your public duty, you pathetic fucking hump? Wish I could skip town for a few days without telling my coworkers every time I encountered a little bump in the road of life.

Way to run out on your kids on Father's Day so you can go fuck some woman other than your wife. Amazing this guy was able to conceive with such nanoscopic testicles.

Which one is the party of family values again?
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby O.J. » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:42 pm

Many of his detractors think South Carolina would be in much better shape if he just left the state. Being such a nice guy, he was trying to prove them right. He's quite the family man, too. I mean, what dad wouldn't want to flee his wife and kids over Father's Day?
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby pjbogart » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:43 pm

fisticuffs wrote:No doubt he was in S.A. selling out some working folk in his state...


Well, that wouldn't even be news. He's a Republican, it's his job.

fisticuffs wrote:...or possibly cornholing a 12 year old boy or something.


Now we're talkin'!
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby mrak » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:43 pm

fisticuffs wrote:... or possibly cornholing a 12 year old boy or something.

You're thinking of Rush Limbaugh in the Dominican Republic.

I don't know their reputation for sex tourism, but Argentina is a popular destination for medical tourism.

Maybe he priced out some cosmetic surgery for a lot cheaper than he could find back home.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby Chuck_Schick » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:51 pm

Okay, apparently y'all weren't hearing this shit.

Sanford has admitted to an affair and is resigning as Gub. GOOD. FUCKING. RIDDANCE.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby mrak » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:55 pm

Aw, man, and we were just getting warmed up.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby fisticuffs » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:05 pm

Sanford has admitted to an affair and is resigning as Gub.


No Shit! I was rooting for cornholing a 12 year old. Did they say how old the lucky mistress/mister is?

At least he has the balls to step down.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby fisticuffs » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:12 pm

resigning as Gub


Not so fast. Resigning as head of the Republican Governors Association. He still gets to screw the people of SC. and his mistress.

In related news Stephen Colbert as declared himself Governor of South Carolina.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby Henry Vilas » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:13 pm

I saw his announcement on the tube. I didn't hear him say he was resigning as governor. Instead he said he is stepping down as head of the GOP governors association.

Gingrich
Craig
Vitter
Ensign
and now Sanford.

All from the self-annointed party of family values. GOP hypocrites all.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby fisticuffs » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:16 pm

Lets not forget Foley and Reverend Methdealinggayhookerlover.

Yeah and go ahead and put Edwards and Clinton and Spitzer in there. Just to be fair. Although I don't think any of them ever claimed to be the moral authority on matrimony or tried to deny other people the right to cheating on their spouse.
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby Chuck_Schick » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:24 pm

fisticuffs wrote:
resigning as Gub


Not so fast. Resigning as head of the Republican Governors Association. He still gets to screw the people of SC. and his mistress.

I stand corrected. That's what I get for trying to work and listen to the press conference at the same time. I should have forgone the work part.

Everybody back on the train!

What a champ. Here's betting he doesn't last his full term.

fisticuffs wrote:At least he has the balls to step down.

It's worth quoting this just to note that he, apparently, does not. Like I said ... nanoscopic. And that's probably being generous.

At least he didn't try to blame this on his wide stance in the shitter (a locale in which his career has been dwelling since this do-nothing was elected).
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Re: Sanford and Sons

Postby nevermore » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:34 pm

13 posts and Ned's not coming in talking Clenis?
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