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Best of TDPF

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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Jul 13, 2010 7:26 pm

Uncle_Leaver wrote:
donges wrote:
Marvell wrote:"...oh I love the hills of old Vagina..."

Hey! I'm originally from there!

We're all originally from there.


Goober McTuber wrote:Not me. I’m from Wet Vagina.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby bdog » Wed Sep 08, 2010 4:59 pm

talagaster wrote:When I read the title of this thread (Madison allows 18 year old to gamble in a casino disguised), I was really hoping someone had discovered an obscure city ordinance that made gambling legal for 18+ year olds while in some form of masquerade costume.

"Johnny, 18 year old Senior at Memorial, no you aren't allowed to play poker. However, if President Abraham Lincoln, or someone who looked like President Abraham Lincoln, were to show up, he'd be free to sit at the table."

I was planning to go gamble as a conquering alien from the Andromeda Galaxy, but you already called dibs on the name Gorcon and I'm not going to come up with a better alien name than that.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby rabble » Mon Nov 01, 2010 7:22 pm

(Walter had previously refered to the long-gone IHOP at the corner of University and Bassett as "a colossal goat rodeo.")

Walter wrote:
LaughingGirl wrote:I was an occasional goat rodeo participant back in the early 80's. Never went there sober or at "normal" hours.


Did anyone?

The whole overnight waitstaff used to quit en mass and they would have to close until they could get some more suckers to work that shift!

My favorite memory was going there for a "huge fight inside the dining room" and upon my solo arrival seeing a couple of dozen people running in every direction.

I went inside and the manager was screaming at me to "Go get them! They left without paying! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!" while every table and every chair except one was overturned and there was food all over the ceiling, walls, windows, and floor. There was one customer left, sitting on the only upright chair in the middle of the room, holding a plate under his face, drunkenly yet furiously nom-nom-nom-ing as he was staring off into a hazy, undefined middle distance as if no one else existed.

I turned around and went back to my squad.

10-8, no report.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby ilikebeans » Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:17 pm

narcoleptish wrote:
tonyday wrote:Looking for more verification. I'm willing to try it but would like to hear more before making the trip.


Good god, it's a two dollar TACO! Do you need to read a prospectus?

I mean both the owner and the manager have already raved about the place in this very thread. What more do you need?
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby TheBookPolice » Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:16 pm

kurt_w wrote:
Beaver wrote:Is there any good solution to the squirrel problem


If you had been paying attention for the past decade, you'd have all kinds of great ideas for solutions.

(1) Declare war on the robins in some other part of town. Some might say this makes no sense, since your condo was actually attacked by squirrels not robins, and they came from the trees in your back yard not from Westmorland Park or whatever. Ignore those naysayers, and focus on cultivating your image as a bold leader who will keep your condo safe.

(2) Make everyone entering your condo remove their shoes, belt, cellphone, nail-clippers, water bottle, laptop, etc. and subject 5% of them to a pat-down or strip search. It may not stop the squirrels, but at least you can say you're doing something about the problem.

(3) If you happen to be running for president of your condo's association, encourage your followers to start a whispering campaign alleging that your opponent was (a) born in an oak tree, (b) raised by squirrels in Indonesia, and (c) a follower of a radical pro-squirrel pastor.

(4) Go into some low-income neighborhood and offer a bounty for anyone who catches a live squirrel and turns it over to you. Lock up the prisoners in solitary confinement, subject them to sleep deprivation and waterboarding, and threaten to kill their family members ... unless they confess to being in league with the squirrels who attacked your condo.

(5) If you have a general idea about what part of town the squirrels are coming from, you could fly over Madison at 50,000 feet and drop lots of explosives on that neighborhood. Collateral damage is unfortunate, of course, but anyone who objects really ought to be blaming the squirrels.

(6) Regardless of what the problem is that you're trying to solve, additional tax breaks for the wealthy are always a good solution.

(7) Keep the real estate bubble growing. As long as prices are soaring, developers will keep building more condos, and you can keep trading up to fancier and more expensive turf. You'll be too busy selling your old condo, buying the next one, and filling out endless mortgage paperwork to notice that every condo you visit is slowly being nibbled to pieces by squirrels.

(8) Build a giant fence along the Illinois border. This won't actually do anything about Madison's squirrel problem, but you can get lots of good press for standing tall against the dirty South-of-the-Border Squirrel Menace. (Consider getting the city council to pass a law requiring rodents to show their papers, or speak English only, when stopped inside city limits.)

(9) Campaign for an amendment to the state's constitution banning same-sex marriage. If anyone questions this, explain that the problem with squirrels invading peoples' condos is just a symptom of the breakdown of the traditional family.

(10) While busily working on items one through nine above, be sure not to actually do anything constructive about the real problem of squirrels in your condo. It is vitally important that you bluster and pose for the media, but make sure that responsibility for actually solving the problem is pushed off on future generations. If a competing faction manages to win the trust of your condo association, make sure you leave them as big a mess as possible, then stymie their efforts to deal with the problem at every turn, and finally accuse them of both (a) failing to solve the squirrel problem that you left them, and (b) trampling on your freedom.

I hope this helps.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby bdog » Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:57 pm

Average Joe wrote:I'd like to add that unions should exist to provide a fair wage for their members. But there are two sides of the fair wage coin, one is adequate compensation for the employee, the other side is for compensation to be reasonable for the employer. In this case, it is nothing less than exploiting the employer (city of Madison taxpayers) to be compensating a few employees at such extravagant levels that it is depriving the opportunity for more effective use of taxpayer resources to provide services and job opportunities for others. There is absolutely no added value what so ever benefiting the city in paying out over 60K a year in overtime to a single employee.

It is an unfair wage practice to allow such an opportunity to juice the system. It's unfair to other Metro employees, potential employees, riders and the taxpayers.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby fisticuffs » Wed Dec 15, 2010 1:49 pm

Rabble Wrote:
I was out driving in the snow and doing fine till I got to a roundabout where a snowplow was stuck in the inner lane and nobody would let her out. It was horrible.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby ilikebeans » Wed Dec 22, 2010 2:04 pm

lukpac wrote:
TimeMasterFlex wrote:Image


...unless they are torn off in a thresher.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby HOMOsapien » Wed Dec 22, 2010 2:18 pm

Image
HOMOsapien
 

Re: Best of TDPF

Postby Michael Patrick » Fri Dec 24, 2010 7:45 am

cattyrood wrote:Seriously, does it get any worse than Chubby Hubby at 2AM? Oh - I might have mentioned Tombstone Pepperoni prior to said affliction. Followed by nicotine, Wodka, and Gatorade.

Top that if you dare.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby bdog » Tue Dec 28, 2010 9:00 am

jjoyce wrote:I'm curious about how often local musicians peruse craigslist and, maybe more importantly, actually buy stuff from people advertising on it.


green union terrace chair wrote:Jason, would you say then that you're buy-curious?

Thank you thank you, remember to tip your waitress.
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby ilikebeans » Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:51 pm

supaunknown wrote:
HamsterArmageddon wrote:8=====D

1:1 scale
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Feb 15, 2011 2:49 pm

O.J. wrote:
supaunknown wrote: Addition is a powerful motivator.

Stay in school, kids!
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby bdog » Sat Apr 02, 2011 7:39 am

Mister_A_In_Madison wrote:A Mayor Dave campaign piece came in the mail and suggested I call him to say I'll join my neighbors in keeping Madison's economy moving FORWARD.

Why does he want to know I am going to be voting for Mr. Soglin?
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Re: Best of TDPF

Postby ilikebeans » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:32 am

Dust Mite Rodeo wrote:Taxpayer-funded tornado sirens are a socialist entitlement!
It's time people were weaned off of their dependency mentality and went to a faith-based warning system.
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