Timothy Hughes
Welcome to the fourth installment of Vaudeville Vixens. Loyal fans of the Mad Rollin' Dolls roller derby scene have watched the Reservoir Dolls and the Quad Squad battle it out for first and second place three seasons in a row. For skaters and fans alike, the fourth season has proven anything but predictable.
Taking down the 2007 champion Res Dolls in the season opener and holding the Quad Squad to a one-point victory less than a month ago, the Vaudeville Vixens have earned a second-place ranking going into semifinals match-ups. Here is their roster for the season:
Bad Sister Heidi #23
Chop Suzzy #311 (Co-Captain)
Darling Nikki #14
Dolly Pardon Me #925
Gloria Stitz #36DD
Harlot Bronte #46 (Co-Captain)
Hell Kat #O
Loquita #911
Meanie Cooper #37
Mustang #66
Ninja #21ish
OctoPushy #007
Sour Kraut #49 (Captain)
Stevie Knocks #214
Sugar Payne #(CH2O)n
Toxic Spice #XXX
Yankee "T-Bone" Rose #65
Harlot Brontë was not available to write this piece, so this month's derby scoop will be brought to you by yours truly, Mauly Tov, proud member of the Dolls' Unholy Rollers. (Full disclosure: Mauly may or may not have tied Harlot up in a closet so she could write this herself. Ms. Bronte just couldn't put her bias aside, and you can only take so much gushing about the color pink. She'll be released in time for the bout.)
Everyone loves a Vixen -- and this week I caught their captain, second-year skater Sour Kraut, to get the dirt before this weekend's hard-hitting action.
The Daily Page: The last bout against the Quad Squad was a nail biter, resulting in a loss by just a point. What did your team learn from that experience?
Sour Kraut: Overall, this season has shown that it can be strategy over skill that earns the final points. I'm not giving away any secrets, but I will say what I learned from the QS bout is to never doubt my instincts as captain during the last few minutes of game play.
How has your team changed since the season opener in January?
We are so much tighter and so much, much smarter as a team since January. It gives me goosebumps to think how far we've come this season! I'm so proud of my Vixens!
What is your team's primary focus going into semifinals?
To play hard, play smart, play strong and as always... to skate on and off the rink proud to be wearing PINK!
The Vaudeville Vixens beat the Res Dolls the first time around.Are you sticking with the same strategy the second time around, or shaking things up?
You're asking if we're sticking with our strategy of Total Ass Kicking and Vixen Domination? Hell yeah!
Inquiring fans want to know: How do derby girls build their muscles when they're not skating around in circles?
We love, love, love our Monkey Bar workouts! Jessica and her crew really know how to make us sweat and help us build killer butts. And of course, nothing builds upper body strength like downin' shots of whiskey!
Describe one of your favorite moments with your team this season -- on or off the track.
I've loved so many moments, it's hard to pick just one. Our team's pre-bout locker room dance parties are high on my list!
What do you consider your team's biggest strength?
Every single Vixen has got every other Vixen's back. Always. We have Vixen love and teaminess oozing out our pores and that makes us a tight, solid unit. That's our biggest strength.
What is your favorite pre-bout ritual?
My favorite pre-bout ritual, hands down, is slapping OctoPushy in the face. Think I'm joking? Watch for it when the Vixen's warm-up on Saturday! Last month, Pushy got hit a little too hard and sported a lovely bruise for a week after the bout! Va-va-va Vixens!
What does it feel like to be ranked second in the league?
Fuzzy, warm and well deserved.
I hear you like limericks. Have any you'd like to share?
Oh, last bout left the Res Dolls quite haughty,
Thinking they are most feared and most naughty,
But a Vixen never bats an eye,
For she knows it's all a lie,
And besides, we all know vests are gaudy!
You can watch the No. 2 seed Vaudeville Vixens battle the No. 3 seed Reservoir Dolls, and the top-ranked Quad Squad face the No. 4 seed Unholy Rollers in the Mad Rollin' Dolls' 2008 semifinals this Saturday, April 12, at Fast Forward Skate Center, 4649 Verona Rd., Madison. Doors open at 6:30, action starts at 7. Tickets are $10 in advance, and can be purchased online and at Freedom/Knuckleheads, Capitol City Tattoo, Cha Cha Beauty Parlor, the High Noon Saloon, Lakeside Press and Fast Forward Skate Center.
Margaret Broeren skates as Mauly Tov with the Mad Rollin' Dolls. When she's not skating, she works as an editor in Madison.