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Friday, August 1, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 68.0° F  Fair
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Tell All: Men in Madison leave something to be desired
A bachelorette's complaint

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Dear Tell All: I recoil from grad students and I'm not into biker silks. And sorry, seven hours of Grand Theft Auto per day is a deal-breaker. Can't fix a martini? Fine. But how about a faucet?

I love Madison, but the Y chromosomes here are leaving something to be desired. What does a bachelorette have to do in this town?

It's raining, but not men. Wisdom?

Late Bloomer

Dear Late Bloomer: Ooh, I love a challenge. And you've presented me with a couple of them here. First, there's the challenge of figuring out your needs, based on the scanty clues you've provided. You're not into scruffy intellectuals (grad students), preening sports types (biker silks) or overgrown adolescents (Grand Theft Auto players). I assume you want a self-assured adult (with plumbing skills) who knows something about the real world. If he's sophisticated enough to get the proportion of gin to vermouth just right, so much the better.

You sign yourself "Late Bloomer," so I'm guessing you didn't date much in high school or college but are now ready for a serious relationship with a guy who exhibits signs of maturity.

That leads me to my second challenge. If you subtract grad students, cyclists in Lycra and gamers, the population of Madison's unattached males in their 20s and 30s gets a whole lot smaller.

But never fear, Late Bloomer. You do have options.

You say you love Madison, so you know that cool restaurants, politics and health care are among our strong suits. How about draping yourself alluringly at the bar of a sophisticated downtown spot like Merchant, Graze or Nostrano, where you're likely to meet an ambitious type with connections to state government? Plus, places like that are crawling with guys who can mix a great martini.

Alternately, how about contacting a local hospital, where volunteers are always welcome? This would be a veritable buffet of eligible young doctors. If they can fix a heart valve, it's a good bet they can fix a faucet.

So there's a start, anyway. Readers, any other suggestions for Late Bloomer?

Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI, 53703. Or email

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