Your cover headline 'Deadly Attraction: Carrie Hindes' Love for Her Man Almost Killed Her' 3/16/07) is as shocking as it is wrong. It was not her love that almost killed her, it was Jonathan Love who almost killed her, her partner of 20 years and father of her three children.
The inside headline continued the hyperbole announcing that 'For 20 Years, Carrie Hindes Stayed With the Man Who Abused Her.' The article ' despite interviews with local experts who emphasized the necessity of taking the focus away from the victim and placing responsibility on the abuser where it belongs ' was more concerned with exploring the psyche of an individual woman than examining a deadly societal problem. It is extremely disappointing that a progressive publication like Isthmus demonstrated such ignorance and sensationalism.
Jennifer Ginsburg, MSSW
Thank you for an important story regarding Carrie Hindes' challenging life and relationship with an abusive partner. I applaud the openness of Carrie Hindes regarding this difficult time in her life.
I wish to note that there is another side to this situation, namely the man who lives with an abused person. Since my practice of psychology is limited to men (and children), I hear the 'other side of the story' ' how difficult it is to live with women who become used to physical abuse.
I hesitate to tell this side because I might be perceived as misogynous, as re-victimizing the victim, or siding with men. Dare I say, however, that women do not know the power and potential abusiveness of the words they speak, in 'defense.'
There is a terrible interaction of abusive words and abusive physicality. It is a dangerous cycle. It becomes difficult to know which starts and which is worse. Most men have experienced physical assaults and physical bullying growing up, but are woefully unprepared for verbal assaults when they become involved with women, who themselves have received so much more verbal abuse in adolescence.
Midlands Psychological Associates
Who can read the story of Jonathan and Carrie and their children without a sense of the broken heart? Is this what a relationship does to people?
If we say yes, this is precisely what a relationship minus religious marriage can do to people, we would immediately have pointed out to us the numerous successful partnerships and marriages undertaken without God's intervention.
But what about those among us who live in places where the tire meets the road with less certain tread? You know, the 'least of our brethren,' ones like Carrie, like Jonathan, like maybe you and me?
Isn't it becoming obvious that human, loving care alone is not enough?
Your Recreation column ('Newfoundland by Kayak,' 3/2/07) had a nice article on a Canoecopia participant, a doughty woman who has circumnavigated Newfoundland and has paddled in the Bahamas, Belize, Bonaire, Florida and Italy. This coming August, she plans to circumnavigate Puerto Rico. Cool.
Recently, national news focused on a group of climbers who got lost on Mount Hood and the massive effort to rescue them. Luckily, the experienced climbers were aided by a loyal dog ' it was a real human-interest story.
I also know a lady who just got back from a spring break in which she took her entire family to Disney World.
You might ask what these people have in common. They are teachers. Teachers are adventurous souls who do all these things the rest of us dream of, like going to Disney World.
God bless the teachers who inspire us all. However, I do have to ask how people who are (according to themselves) notoriously underpaid afford such excursions. After a couple of decades as a federal attorney, the best I can afford is to treat my family this summer to a couple of days at the Bristol Renaissance Faire...in Bristol, Wis.
I guess that at this point I'll accept one thing or the other. I will listen to news stories about how underpaid educators are or I will read Home section stories in the Wisconsin State Journal about UW professors who own a villa in Spain. I am not prepared any longer to put up with both.
Out of reach
I read your article about poverty entitled 'The Candidates Size Up Allied Drive's Problems' (3/16/07). Then I turned the page and read an advertisement for a UW Health's 'Healthy Habits, Healthy Kids' program.
It's a program that teaches the importance of eating meals with your family, establishing boundaries, daily fruit and vegetable intake, body image work and other good stuff. I thought: Gee the folks over on Allied Drive could really use some of this. Education is a powerful tool when it comes to fighting poverty.
However, the class cost $150. The advertisement went on to state that the cost may be reimbursed by your health plan. I laughed, shook my head and wanted to cry. I don't have health insurance. How many Madisonians living on Allied Drive have health insurance or $150 to take a class like this?
Thanks to WPS
Regarding Virginia Pickerell's letter about WPS (3/9/07): I am eternally grateful to be insured by WPS. My husband was denied surgery by a provider because he was 'high risk.' WPS allowed us to seek another provider. He had surgery and a successful recovery.