Goodbye, Facebook. It's been real. I'm out. Right after I look at the guy holding the sleeping dog in Lake Superior photo one more time. There he is! All right, now. So long!
As long as I'm here, I'll take a last look at the weather friend posts. Yesterday they said it was fall-like! And look there. The Frisbee game I'm not playing in is canceled. The Frisbee guy says it's fall-like, too!
Leaving Facebook, leaving Facebook, scroll past these people I don't know, leaving Facebook, leaving Facebook, ah. Here's some folks I recognize. Look at the size of those Bloody Marys! Wait. I don't know them either. I'll figure out where they're having brunch - then, so long, Facebook!
It was Mickey's! I knew it! Leaving Facebook, leaving Facebook, scroll past these Paul Ryan posts, leaving Facebook, scrolling, more Paul Ryan posts, weather still cool, leaving Facebook, hey! Great post about a concert I can't go to.
Scrolling down, leaving Facebook, nice-looking plate of food, leaving Facebook, and dude! What a funny comment on my comment about my buddy's comment on the comment made after the original comment about the cat photo not being commented on! Awesome!
What's that smell? Smoke? Coming from the basement? Someone grilling out down the street, I bet. Hey! There's the Randy Travis naked DWI story! And the Pee-wee Herman on the velodrome picture!
I'm sorry. I must sound like I'm talking in code. My friends post these things you probably haven't seen, e.g. the Pee-wee Herman thing, etc. Sorry to be so exclusive!
Signing off forever now, scrolling, sitting in the dark, scrolling. Oh, am I looking forward to being Facebook-free. The things I'll do! Yardwork, scrolling, volunteer work, scrolling. Best of all, I'll be able to gather together with friends and just sit around a table, visiting, have an actual conversation, away from the screen...while everyone references their phone screens. Quality time!
So bite me, Facebook! Scrolling. Whoa. I almost missed these photos of my brother-in-law's new easement. Scrolling down. There's that pretty woman who posts photos of herself, then soaks up the praise. Scrolling up. Those new bangs do look pretty deluxe. I'll read a few of those comments, then I'm gone.
Stupid computer. If you weren't so slow, I'd have been gone minutes ago. Load, you dumb video! Who doesn't want to see an alligator in a coffee shop? Double like! I never un-friended anybody, so I should probably do that before I shut down forever. Dwayne Plisch? Your insensitive comments about Randy Travis were beyond the pale. See ya!
So as soon as I see where this guy is going to have dinner tonight, I bid you all farewell. Nice dining choice. I'll tell him that and then I log out foreverisimo!
So many reasons to miss this place! The things I've learned! For example, I never knew the word "read" was a noun. Gets me a little sentimental. A little guilty, too. All the stories I was told were a good read that I never read. Nope. Won't read that one about Medicare. Scrolling. Still won't read that one about Medicare. Scrolling down. Still won't. Nope. Won't read it there, either. Scrolling. Still nope.
See you later, Most Interesting Man in the World! Dang. That's a good one. I'll just share this before I leave Facebook forever. There. People are going to love that one. Well, here I go!
I'll post three more photos of my kids, kind of like leaving my legacy, then call it quits. My band plays the third Wednesday of the month, y'all. Same place. Have a great Halloween, New Year's, etc. Hey! Someone tagged me!