UP: Nanuq. Madison's popular polar bear gets an all-expenses-paid sex junket to Buffalo, N.Y., where the 22-year-old is expected to hook up with a fellow Ursus maritimus as part of a breeding program for endangered species. Some guys have all the luck.
DOWN: Mike Verveer. Hear us out on this one. There is no evidence (or even good reason to believe) that the longtime downtown alder did anything wrong. But his name is in the news because a Madison cop allegedly smelled marijuana in a room above a restaurant, then left after spotting Verveer, who didn't notice any smell and denies inhaling. So the poor guy has gotten Phelpsed without even getting high. Bummer.