Dear Tell All: You gave a classically tolerant, Madison-style answer to All Dressed Up and No Place to Go, the man who got kicked out by his girlfriend after she discovered his cross-dressing secret ("No Cross-Dressing Allowed," 6/27/2013). In your view, it's the girlfriend who has a problem here, not the guy who slipped on her clothes when she wasn't around.
I've got to say, I sympathize with the woman in this case. I don't feel guilty about thinking cross-dressing is weird. I'm not saying it should be outlawed; I'm not even saying there's anything wrong with it. I'm happy that people who want to do such things have a place to go locally, as you pointed out.
But I don't agree that the guy's girlfriend should be chastised for kicking him out. We all have a right to find certain kinds of behavior off-putting. A guy in high heels, lipstick, nylons and a bra? To me, that's off-putting.
To All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go: There are lots of cross-dressers and genderqueer/fluid people who have found wonderful, loving relationships. I came out to my wife after being married over 12 years; it took her a bit, but she came around.
There are three wonderful therapists in Madison who are very familiar with helping couples and individuals through issues like this: Jasmine at JSJ Therapy, Jay at Awen Therapy and Martha at Madison Eastside Family Therapy. They would also be able to point you in the direction of like-minded people in the Madison area. All the best!
So Much Happier Now
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email email@example.com.